BluEsCooLs

Sculpture days, Still unbelievably stressed

2011-11-22T08:01:00.000-08:00

Yup, assessment is officially over... but im still unbelievably stressed out...

Because today, when i was clearing up the assessment space, he walked by and smiled at me.

(the instance i typed this, i played MCR's Teenagers and sing along)

Like, WTF is that, man?

Why do you do something that makes me go "WTF?" and smile back... ?

Jerk!

He didn't even have the guts to talk to me the whole time when i was in sculpture workshop doing work. Once again, he gave me text conversations... but i no longer put my emotions in it any more since he doesn't appreciate it anyway...

All these, but i just can't help it... I speak up for you when people say bad things about you despite the way you have treated me because no one can be that antagonistic... but im not sure who to believe any more...

In summary:

Whatever. I shall go watch Chi.Bi. Chibi De~bi!

Sculpture days, Like A Totally Screwed...

2011-11-15T19:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's the slang these days... Haha...

Anyway, im guess im totally screwed for assessment because my assessing pieces are 90% and 10% done for drawing and figure drawing respectively... and im like take a small break now before i start on the other. i've once again, overestimated myself... thinking i can finish a piece of work in 1 day... i've totally delayed my schedule for the week, with the things i wanna complete done around 80~90% for each day... Totally f-ed up...

and i guess its true when one does art for too long, somehow you'll feel like your work has somehow become worse... but i think its just that we have stayed in this field for too long and unconsciously better our knowledge on aesthetics and such... can be somewhat harmful to our mental health, though...

Also, i got the answer and got rejected... but somehow i recovered pretty fast, as in, i don't cry at night so often now. Maybe it's because my friends and i analyse how he's being a jerk and not worth my time at all and me reminding myself of all those pointers every time i think of him.

And constantly blasting music in my ears to occupy my mind... O-o

I have been doing nothing but wishing i could take back my confession, because i should have known better than to do that. He don't even deserved to know. But i don't regret, or i would have fallen deeper and get even more hurt. im only contemplating if i should still be friends with him although my friends disagree with me cause he would clearly define the line as a reason instead of telling me he just wants to concentrate on studying. (Yes, he gave me that reason.)

i mean, can you believe it? He made me fall in love with him, behaved like he cared, then periodically ignored me, and gave me this reason when i confessed after a week of zero communication, and probably assumes i would completely accept this.

Note: This is a true story. Not a drama.

As much i want to find reasons, (sometimes unconsciously) to think he's a good (relationship-ly approachable) person, the situation completely halts it. If that is not called being-a-complete-jerk, seriously~ i wish karma will find you. If you have anything to fight against this part of the post, please post it in my dusty tagboard. i hope you have something good so that i can believe in him again...

maybe will be on hiatus for 2~3 weeks cause i would be going to Taiwan again after assessment. WHEEEE~! Toodles!

Sculpture days, The Story of Us Ends

2011-10-28T08:16:00.000-07:00

The summary:

i posted this on FB the other day, and he never talked to me again... So be it. I've deleted his number and messages cause i don't see the point in talking to him and i don't think he has the guts to message me either... The End.

So...

It's around 3 weeks to assessment~

FML~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But i kinda like this sem's assessment cause most of the works are up to expectations so far or i've a pretty good ideas since the drawings have started to give room to creativity, except for IIA's essay, immense pressure is inversely proportional to quality of work... i think its because im reading and exercising lesser than i've in sec sch... My Bride Quartet series is gathering dust... i dunno... hmmmm

and about my back, yeah~ well, i've seen a doctor about 2 weeks ago or so and he says its ligament problem... but its still affecting me till this day, hahaha... and i was so worried i would never walk again! I was like: Oh! if i can't walk any more, i shall suicide at sea... perhaps i would become sea foam... Haha!

Too much Little Mermaid as you can see... OMG~! the Little Mermaid is like so awesome lah~ I can't believe i've never watched it in my childhood. Thank God... I would have a never-ending obsession with Ariel until today i think... LOL!

Sculpture days, 1 promise.

2011-10-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

I am a fool. i have deeply realized im a fool.

Im going to put an end to a rumor, because its no longer true anymore.

I have always wake up the next day without giving a damn about the past. but it seems that i have to make an exception to that. im going to promise whoever is reading this post that from today onwards, that guy will forever be the least of my concern. He will always be my senior.

As much as this is the second time im going to feel the worst kind of pain again. So it shalll be. The game is over. It has been 3 months...

Im tired of having to cry every night when he does something retarded. it's best i stop now, 'die' for maybe about 2 weeks... then i can enjoy my taiwan trip in dec. happy life continues with me rolling on the floor... heh...

Maybe this is the reason why Taylor Swift has a fear of falling...

Sculpture days, Fish off

2011-10-24T05:23:00.001-07:00

Shit... i just embarrassed myself again when i went to find him again...

I really fucking hate this. Why do i give a shit, seriously? i really don't like how people keep giving me the thoughts in their eyes that says im finding him, which is seriously irritating... STOP IT OKAY! So what if it's so fucking obvious? Nothing is going to happen anyway! It doesn't matter if i like him since he doesn't do anything. It's just going to have to die off...

is he going to come and tell me he likes me once i become someone else's? Too bad, asshole, you miss your chance

is he going to be miserable because i don't give a shit about him any more? You have to lose me to know that you need me? You can f- off.

are we going to pretend we don't know each other like before the project? I wish this can be so.

It's like fucking irritating, can? People are like: Woah~ You should go sit with him! Woah~ Go and have lunch with him! Woah~ this! Woah~ that! If little movements like this can make him just care a little about me, there's no need for God because wishes no longer has to go through Him.

Seriously, you know. i think whether i exist or not is not a problem for him. So stop making me think of this shit before he starts to reject my existence in his world.

It's so sad that i may have to go to the extend of pretending to not know this person any more...

Sculpture days, Foolish Heart

2011-10-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

I hate the fact im writing all these foolish love life down... because i want my normal life back. Those days when i can chill and do stupid things with my friends and worry about my assignments/exams...

But based on what i wrote just now and what im going to write, just makes me hate my current life so much. Its like it has totally consumed me and my life because im thinking about you almost 24/7 especially when you do hateful things. You know how freaking irritating it is when you're trying to rush 2 essays and a ppt for next week and ALL OF A SUDDEN you just think of how's this idiot's day. Im supposed to be writing how freaking awesome today is cause i did stone carving and my hair harden from all that dust after washing with water.

What. The. Fish.

Why do you always want to do things that upset me then come and ask me why. One side is upset about you and the other side is upset at myself for not wanting to explain to you so that you understand.

and i don't understand why you want to hide that fact and not confess. is it because you don't like me that way or what? if not i want to get over you and dissolve the rumours.

is this what they call misery?

是不是拥有以后就会开始要失去 我给你的越多 你却越想要躲 爱也无法回答所有的问题

是不是爱给的不够所以你要怀疑 你还要再想吗 你要不要回家 人总是傻到失去才想要珍惜

-飛機場的10:30

Sculpture Days, Disappointment

2011-10-21T06:22:00.000-07:00

This is the last straw. You are going to give me the answer soon.

seriously, so many ppl can tell that we like each other, but all of them agreed that you are not being a man. i keep telling myself you need more time. Obviously, im fooling myself. Its been what? Almost 4 months? And it seems like im the only one affected by it cause you don't seem to give a shit about how im feeling. You dont even ask why unless its a topic you are actually interested. i was thinking of waiting for you until after your enlistment. im a fool... i really think Im.

Can you prove me wrong?

Sculpture days, Visually Inspired.

2011-10-12T06:42:00.000-07:00

Changed my blogskin... i need to be visually inspired.

Anyway, got my new phone~ Samsung Galaxy S2 white... Like finally! i was thinking i have to wait till next year to get a new phone... but i was hoping to get Galaxy Note though, but i wouldn't be able to use my voucher...

Well, at least i wont have to flip back and forth from my inbox now...

I know i've like a bunch of things to do before next month but i just feel so unmotivated. Gawd, better go write a list before i feel bombarded.

God! 2 essays in 2 weeks and a ppt... -0-

Sculpture days, Fucked-up Night

2011-10-07T08:39:00.000-07:00

This is a record of how the asshole that i can't believe i fell in love with, is being a fucking bastard tonight...

After chilling out with my pals on the night of my first public exhibition, i was really happy when i received his message about my exhibition because he remembers it. So throughout the entire journey we are messaging (until about halfway he stopped because apparently he was stoning about, qoute "the truth". But that's not the point here.)

So when i arrived home, he asked me about my preparation for the ACR painting competition. I told him i haven't done so, so im returning on Sat to do it. And as it carries on, he just all of a sudden tell me not to join because my pro friend- Cai Xiang (whom i never even talked to before) is joining the competition. Then he just keep saying "It's okay", "It's okay"... Like, WTF is this? and so i abruptly ended the conversation because i was super upset about that and he just, what i'd like to describe it as hatefully, replied : Diao.. Nights!

Every time i see that hateful sentence, i just feel so stabbed purely because he has never treated me like this before. It so fucking hurts when someone you like just bring you down and when you're hurting he gives you a "Diao". And so while he goes to sleep tonight feeling slightly peeved, im stuck on my chair crying because im angry and sorry and at the same time reminding myself how i loved him so much but i totally don't deserved to be treated this way... before i can go to sleep.

What the fuck is diao? Seriously? Diao at me?

And the worst shit is how am i going to face him if we meet again... like what? Story of Us? (rolls eyes)

I shall further darken my eye bags by taking a warm shower after this and then play my RPG late into the night...

Sculpture days, Silly thoughts

2011-09-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

ive to confess much i love him today... but before that,

SHUCKS~! 1 WEEK TERM BREAK IS NOT ENOUGH~ GIVE US BACK THE OTHER WEEK TOO~! -0-

i still have 3 pieces of A0, 1 figure drawing, my sculptures, research and draft for essay...

and oh yes, my freaking sketchbook disappeared... yes... all these shit, within a freaking week...

My GPA's totally gonna drop... Freak! Like that how to go Japan study??? -0-

Maybe this is the reason why im balding and getting gray-ier... -O- Sigh~

And i totally understand the power of Lermon now... hahahaha~ Jacob with a ring of packs around his body~ haha

oh man~ i cant wait to change my phone so i can take photos of my crazy days here, but it seems like ive to wait to get the freaking voucher that will only be given at the end of my freaking contract... ugh...

but then again, it means i can get the latest phone... :)

Anyway, your favourite part...

Well, i guess its because i havent really talked to him for some time, okay, like 1~2 weeks... so when he suddenly appeared when i was waiting for the train at circle line, i was stunned... like, speechless and shocked and blurred in the head since i didnt expect to see him, with a new haircut some more... i totally let my guard down since i thought he's take the red line and walk from dhoby ghaut instead...

... so usually i would think of some clever topics and stuffs like that, but you know what happened? we ended up talking about the injuries we have attained instead... like -_____-? Sigh... I was still blur like a sotong until we reached school, and when the lift door closed, i was like wtf~ is wrong with me? That's why i eat tom yam like once a week... hahahahaha

and through the text just now... GOSH~! I TOTALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I WAS EVER PISSED OFF AT THIS ADORABLE PERSON~ AHHHHHHHH~

It's so freaky to hate and like this person so much, i don't feel like myself any more... ahahaha~

7 Things i hate
1-When you ignore me

2-When you assume

3-When you care too much about others instead of yourself

4-When you overexert yourself

5-7 (nil, unless of course you want me to be like, say, Miley Cyrus, and put "You made me love you"X3)

7 Things i like

1-When you smile

2-When you message

3-(paused to face palm at 1) Erm, when you care

4-When you try to be funny... -0-...

5-When you listen

6-When you open up

7-When you are helpful

GOSH~! So cheesy~! -O- Hehehehe

Sculpture days, Dancing days

2011-09-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

I think the Sep to Nov period is like my dancing addiction months, cause for some reason i'll start dancing again during this period...

And this time, im addicted to Ne-yo... I don't know. i think Ne-yo is an ideal type. I mean you can see from his songs how he really respects and loves his girl/s from his heart, unlike that son-of-a-bitch Chris Brown.. i only like his beats on Wall to Wall, but the lyrics are f-ed up... its a no wonder what he did to Rihanna... -0-

Because of you

Verse
Want to, but I can't help it,
I love the way it feels,
It's got me stuck between my fantasy
And what is real.
I need it when I want it,
I want it when I don't.
Tell myself I'll stop everyday
Knowin that I won't.

Hook:
I got a problem and I
[Don't know what to do about it]
Even if I did,
I don't if I would quit,
But I doubt it
I'm taken by the thought of it,
And I know that much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction
I'm so strung out on you
Baby-boo, but I like it.

Chorus:
And it's all because of you,
And it's all because of you,
And it's all because of you
And it's all because....
Never givin' up,
She's the sweetest touch...

Verse 2:
Think of it every second
I'm thinkin nothin but,
Only concern is the next time,
I'm gon get me some
Know I should stay away from,
Cuz it's no good for me
I try and try but my obsession
Won't let me leave

Hook:
I got a problem and I
[Don't know what to do about it]
Even if I did,
I don't if I would quit,
But I doubt it
I'm taken by the thought of it,
And I know that much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction
I'm so strung out on you
Baby-boo, but I like it.

Chorus:
And it's all because of you,
And it's all because of you,
And it's all because of you
And it's all because....
Never givin' up,
She's the sweetest touch...

Verse 3:
Ain't no doubt, so strung out,
Ain't no doubt, so strung out,
Over you, over you, over you...
Ooooo....

Because of you,
And it's all because of you,
Never givin' up,
She's the sweetest touch,
she's the sweetest tooouch....

I just love Ne-yo's works... :D and Nyanpire's Chachamaru! (amd Potemayo too but only when she's dancing)

I WISH I HAVE A LIL KITTY LIKE CHACHAMARU~!

Sculpture days, Stupid Things

2011-09-04T07:36:00.000-07:00

i found my awesome and new black personality! Woohoo~ Probably more awesome than the flying kimchi or noodle dance series...

Oh~ No~ You didnt just dis mah sista, did ja~?

African American are just awesome people! i really hope i can go to New York study trip for year 2 this year, then can practice my slang~! (:D)

And ever since i saw Jessie laughing at my slang, i can't stop smiling and saying at the same time... hohohoho~ Bloody fail...

I just found his first msg to me... seriously, we have seen each other before but this is like FIRST CONTACT, y'noe! Haha... So freaking adorable lah!

national day event
i tell u what i know abt it..
hey!
Felicia
Sinyong here ,
Ben said that you might be interested to take part in this national day event. Its a group project of 10 people.Ben and Su agreed to join the group and there is 1 vanacy left. It is about setting up an installation regarding a theme call "majulah" .Its an installation art.
we are supposed to do something regarding the theme.
The event is organised by MICA(Ministry of information , commucation and Arts ) and supported by our school.
This is a competition between all the tertiary school in singapore. Its like a competition with installation art for national day .
The installation art will be exhibiting in the public near dhoby ghaut.
The project will only start on the mid june to july , during the holidays
There will be media coverage,it will be good for your portfoilo in the future .
If you are interested , just reply me : )

As much as i think he'd copy and pasted it from GodKnowsWhere, its STILL FRIGGIN CUTE~ RIGHT?

Like, its pretty awkward in the starting. like what kind of starting is 'i tell u what i know abt it..'? and he adds a smiley at the end...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!

and the next contact he bought me a souvenir... Yes, i know he got it for others too but im like: Do i know you? Why you buy stuff for me? Then it never stops until today... -0- Want to do something for him also cannot... except sweeping floor...

Oh~ the green tea thingy... wahlao! its like Tenma from school rumble~ She wrote a super duper long love letter to Karasuma and then never write name... I did a similar shit... i didn't wrote my name...

(face palm...)

Maybe...

2011-08-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

1-you deliberately stay back late in a friggin cold classroom doing your work with no dinner and hungry, then this person call up and ask if you want to have dinner, but you can't because you have to watch your classmate's stuff. Then he hangs up. Then he went home. Leaving you all alone in the friggin classroom until past 8:30pm. (btw, this is not the first time)

2- He walks by with his friends, you look at him and smile but he ignores you. His friend looked at you...

3-He message you on a daily basis until one day, suddenly, he didn't msg you. You waited the whole day by the phone.

and the weirdest shit is, im giving myself excuses about why he does all this...

1- Because he thinks im too busy, so he doesn't want to disturb me and went home by himself. (and the funny thing is, no matter what shit i've due the next day, i'd still go and find him to go home together, with some disappointment) Cause there was one time i did the same shit, and he return and tell me this.

2-he doesn't want to get tease by his friends because, you know, he's a guy and he shouldn't be talking about feelings (unlike SOME PEOPLE who keeps doing that to me in the studio after 6~)

so he pretends we're not close/ because im talking to Emma so he don't think he should even interrupt to say 'hi'

3- he's too tired from doing his contextual file...

im fucked up... totally fucked up... the more i think about, the more i think he doesn't like me since he would have find every single reason to know what going on in my life (i think), and so the increasing frequency of me freaking out on my pillow like Taylor Swift and her guitar...

Seriously, no matter who i like, it doesn't have a good ending... so i really feel like hurting myself first before he hurts me so i get immunity when he does so, i'll smile and leave, hopefully never see him again once he graduate... it's like he doesn't even come and tell me the excuses himself... so if he comes and confess to me after totally losing all my feelings for him, i'll tell him to fuck off ...

seriously, what the hell is SO GOOD about him anyway? His looks are not very appealing nor bad, normal personality, his works are also normal, everything about him is normal. In fact, he doesn't like dancers and possibly girls who eat too much... and recently i spew lots of vulgarities and sarcasm to him... its only a matter of time before he comes and tell me he likes someone else... then maybe i can go get a guitar and hug it to sleep. lol...

Yeah... i find that currently have a lot of reference to Taylor Swift's songs... like:

1-He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

2- Holding on, the days drag on

Stupid girl, I should have known (in fact, the entire song)

3-Maybe this is wishful thinking

Probably mindless dreaming

4-I was waiting till September and I'd see your face but in that moment I knew it was over. (lol)

5-Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,

Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how
I've never heard silence quite this loud

2011-08-22T07:13:00.001-07:00

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

Sculpture days

2011-08-09T08:21:00.001-07:00

Okay... so a week has past and fml, all the works are coming in already...

You know, when i graduate from school, i can tell you: unless i haven't been doing any artistic work for 10 million years, im never drawing/painting in A0 size -A (zero), again...

The best part is that i redo the work and the proportion -> drawing is still fucked up... sigh...

And yes, apparently my seniors are telling me that im the next target for my IIA2 lecturer to hook up... and yes, i mean THAT hook up...

Because throughout that entire class, that lecturer's looking at me... he'll glanced around the class for 5sec before he looks at me for 2mins, the process repeats itself until class ends... And all i can do was stare at the screen behind him without giving him eye contact...

And, yeah, this lecturer thinks that being sarcastic is funny, like he's telling a joke in class... Since there isn't any lesson for first class, so nobody raised a question to him... and he fucking shoot at us by indirectly calling us retards, and mocking us when we don't know a particular figure of philosophy...

GOD~! I CAN'T BELIEVE SUCH A HORRIBLE SHIT IS HAPPENING IN WHAT WAS ONCE MY FAVOURITE CLASS~!

Hello Mr, the information on the screen is the same as the handout... what do you think we're going to ask? Isn't that the reason why we're studying?

You know, brainy people (in philosophy of art) don't really go any where in life... somehow... and im going to sit at the back of the class now, hopefully with someone big enough to cover my entire existence in the class... (facepalm)

But~ other than that, the other classes are either pretty normal like last year, or wooh~! My major! i love my major! (or i wouldn't be in it right, stupid?) and i love my elective in ceramics, which i finally took after waiting for a year. These are the only 2 modules that allows me to take my time to develop my work unlike the others which either make me chiong like a mad woman or i just keep f-ing up in class... like Drawing for example... Jian Yao 老师 is like the nicest lecturer in the entire FA class, (second is my very fatherly-lecturer in sculpture class...)... feel so sorry that i didn't draw well in his class, although i tried very hard to...

You know, when detective sees natural evidences, he has no qualms about its authenticity...

but damn, in relationship, you don't know if he's being genuinely nice, or because he likes you...

but then again, that's gonna be something for me to learn...

i don't know...

2011-07-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

i fell in love with FMA Brotherhood soundtrack... i should get the CD since it is worth the money. i've like more than 1/2 of the songs in my MP3...

also... im getting a new phone~! HAHAHAHAHA... iPhone 4... but, darn, i think iPhone 5 is coming out soon... :( Oh whatever, better than fake blackberry right~? hahaha

I need someone to tell me what the fu** is this (please self-help with the pronoun):

1- You go home with this person daily and one day, when didn't, you bawl like a madwoman...

2- You go to school and don't see, you also bawl like a madwoman

3- Almost the entire inbox is name

4- Your mind is preoccupied with

5- You sigh thinking about because is not there (which leads to 1 or 2 or both)

6- You can't help but laugh at certain things that says but it really isn't that funny

What the fuck is wrong with me... i'm like from some main character of Taylor Swift songs... (rolls)

It has never happened with that pri school bestie

It has never happened with that classmate in pri sch

It's not even close to that one that my friends know about in school now...

Falling in love is tiring when you cry almost everyday just thinking about how much you love this person but you can't say it out... i want to stop, because if it doesn't work out, i become a fool of myself for going so deep... its so scary man~

不要对我这么好好吗~ i don't want to mistake your kindness for something stupid... logically speaking, i don't think you'd like me that way...

shit~ i feel like dying...

i hope he never knows...

2011-07-17T01:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, i just need a punch bag to say/do all sorts of shit... but i think sometimes, its better to keep my mouth shut... at least, for a little while because things travel fast, and usually, to the ears of people whom you'd wanna avoid...

im dying to get it off my chest, but if i let it spurt out it's no different from being instantaneously dead later... so over here, im slicing the edge of the cake and throw it here...

Anyway, im bored... i have nothing to do now, but i don't want to work tomorrow either, mainly because i've to wake up at 0630 in the morning and deal with things i barely know and instantaneously grasp it... or i'll feel super guilty toward my super-nice manager by asking her stuffs when she's got tons of things on her mind and still will generously help you... Dear me, i hope i can get off as much burden from her as possible during the next 2 weeks while i return to school after work to deal with my exhibition piece...

This might just become a common schedule during my holidays in the next few years of my life... totally f.u.c.k.e.d u.p...

So yeah... gotta get onto the bed now... GOD! im so exhausted! Gotta passed the City Colours photos to this person named Ken tomorrow... not intending to do any photo shop... see how first.... Yawn...

FUCK~ Im ready to explode

2011-07-14T08:44:00.001-07:00

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh

You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables
Left a small town and never looked back
I was a flight risk, afraid of fallin'
Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

I say, "Can you believe it?"
As we're lyin' on the couch
The moment, I can see it
Yes, yes, I can see it now

Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water?
You put your arm around me for the fist time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together
And there's a drawer of my things at your place
You learn my secrets and figure out why I'm guarded
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

But we got bills to pay
We got nothin' figured out
When it was hard to take
Yes, yes

This is what I thought about:

Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water?
You put your arm around me for the fist time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?
You saw me start to believe for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Oh, oh, oh, oh

And I remember that fight, two-thirty AM
You said everything was slipping right out of our hands
I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye, cause that's all I've ever known
Then, you took me by surprise
You said, "I'll never leave you alone."

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water.
And every time I look at you, it's like the first time.
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter.
She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Do you believe it?
We're gonna make it now
And I can see it

I can see it now -Mine Taylor Swift

IF LIFE IS LIKE THIS IN THE FUTURE

2011-06-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

... i think i'm screwed...

Potential daily life schedule:

1- Deal with ongoing project

2- Deal with exhibitions

3- Deal with part-time/full-time, temp job

4- (continuation from 2) Do my sculptures/ artworks...

... and perhaps, more... (shrug)

Tomorrow's my first day at work, actually half day... working as a admin assistant cum receptionist: im doing the kind of job that i hate the most in the worst kind of environment... OL job dealing with possible tai-tais...

And yes, it's ACS again...

So far, while working as the book store at a few instances, there are quite a number of these so called tai-tais, but they're still pretty reasonable people, and its less than a handful that will spoil my day/week... so, yeah... Why should let this little bunch of ignorant people spoil my day? Hah! The most i still can take it out on my sibs... hohoho...

Besides, my aunt's there, i know some of the people there when i was still working at the bookshop... so there's always help there... :D Positive thinking :)

Oh! And yeah, a few peeps are kinda envious that i'm working in boys school because i can meet (open apostrophe) HOT (close apostrophe) guys. So im here telling you peeps: Sorry, there are none... not that i can judge and i've never seen the entire school of guys before but so far, none! :) i've talked to a few guys from, i think NPCC, on their banner for CCA orientation?

If you wanna look for 'HOT' guys, i suggest JC guys -when i had a quick scan of my cousin's friends list on Facebook once, but not secondary or even primary school, you sick pedophiles... Plus i don't think i will have any attachment for any of the guys there since they're all younger than me... (No~ Not even if they sing Noona Neomu Yeppo...) <---- Stereotype here

-imagining the day when all my close pals get married... :)

And also, i've been thinking if i should pick up any music instrument or not... i'm probably gonna learn with/from my sis... its likely that she'll be picking up band in secondary school and she's pretty good at reading notes... So, if she got into cello, i'll learn cello ->Although i could learn from Jess... if she's learning flute/ i'll learn flute... if she's learning timpani, well~ F*** that, i'll go further my studies in Jap or something... :P

Then again, she's probably gonna get timpani since she's big-boned... (She says she changed from erhu to dagu because, according to the TIC, she can carry the drum... lol, she can even carry me for about 10~15secs... I think she can carry Jessie too... it was awesome... ROFL) i think it's a real pity if she doesn't get into band since she doesn't really have some speciality in something... (she claims she's studying korean, but i can see it dying off... hohoho)

and oh yes! Results are out! I've improved by 0.5 in my latest GPA... Well, better than nothing... its not easy scoring like 3.0 in Arts... but i hope that's what i'll get at least in my final year... YAY! Not a single D this time! :) i was pretty shocked to see my Emcee Skill getting A and my DA getting C... I mean, Aaron was like saying: 'Are you serious?' at my flimsy, LC (quoted from Wilson) invitation card that was like kindergarten/primary school standard... So i expected, like, the best would be 50 pts = D... Su said i could have gotten B if i was satisfied with all my major works for DA... Oh well~

and i was super, duper sure i said something wrong on stage during the Gala Night... but hell~ A!

Weather's being a bitch these days, right?

after 5million years...

2011-05-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

...i won't be blogging any more... hohoho!

Anyway, hmmm, i'm still looking for jobs during this holiday, and how much i've regretted not doing so just after assessment... like, i sent in 5 emails to 5different employers, only 1 replied to me by asking me for more inquires... and it's the one i sent on the same day...

and seriously, 'notify xxxx for those who are short-listed'... so it's like, if you don't reply my mail in 1 week, how am i going to know if you haven't even read my mail or i'm not short-listed? -Which i would have went to look for another job that might hire me? i mean, is it that hard to forward 'i regret to inform you that you've not been short-listed in our XXXXXXXX' to me? It's not like i'm DYING to have that like how some people will really treat it as the end of the world when they're not, e.g. singers, models... etc...

but then i do hope to get that assistant art teacher job... after all, it's a combination of 2 things that i like = Kids + Art... but i AM kinda worried of how to hoax kids to do work, e.g. and i can't treat them like how i treat my siblings... (i slap them around... hohoho) I do have some patience for kids though...

and if possible, i don't mind working part time there while studying... IF THERE WASN'T A MODULE CALLED DIGITAL AND TIME BASED MEDIA... i have a feeling that i need double the amount of time that i've done for digital art... =o=;;;

and yeah... my mom super pissed at my sis and her friends today: My sis for her falling grades, her friends for calling her like 10 times a day after school...

My sis said that she only slept in class once and her form teacher actually when to complain to my parent about that... FOR THAT ONE TIME... Wow! Can you imagine that? During sec4 maths class, i slept like crazy... i mean, like half of the time, she wasn't even talking about maths, so, you can imagine the severity if she actually told my parents that. They'll be in the same league as the volcanoes in Iceland... 0-o But then again, i doubt her as well, i think she slept in class more than just once, if not the teacher is just, well, insensitive... Hah... i've never liked the top class of my primary school before... the teachers all one kind one... =0=

And her friends, seriously speaking, i'm also quite irritated by their persisting calls... i mean, i've actually heard their conversation before and half of the time, i think they're just talking about Kpop. - Particularly the YeongSeo couple, if you know what i mean...

and they've just went to school like what, this afternoon?! like why must call 10times a day? cannot tomorrow say meh? =o= like... really...

it's been 5million years

2011-05-20T20:04:00.000-07:00

... since i've been blogging... hohoho... of course not... i don't wanna live in this kind of world for 5million years...

so anyway, yup! it's the holidays!!! And many peeps are like: Wah! So long arh? Your holidays?

Yes... because it's our year end holiday... just like yours... hohohoho...

and of course, i'm still looking for a job now, or rather, applying for a job... i pretty much know what i want to do this time... retail assistant for GSS...

... but i'm pondering over it because of that 10%-20% of Singaporean who are like Mdm Nancy Goh from the Noose... Go look at Stomp and you see this bunch of people who think they're being upright and honest when, truly, they're embarrassing themselves...

And if i was God, i will abolish this law/rule of 'Customers is always right'.

So if the customer ask you to go stab someone beside him/her or add poison in the person's food, you have to do that because the customer is always right? 0_o?

In the end, incorrigible customers are nothing but a prettier form of bullies, isn't it? But, you know what, i believe God will, in a way, 'open their eyes' at the right time... :)

And i guess one of the reasons that i couldn't sleep these days was probably due to anxiety of failing my DA... yes... somehow i keep thinking if i'd end up failing due to my shitty major assignments in PSD and INDD and also my very average daily assignments...

seriously, i've never seen before digital artworks until this semester...

6 days away from exams...

2011-05-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

...and i'm still here blogging....

but you know what, i dun care! (shrug) i feel that if i think too much, it's not going to help either, isn't it...?

but anyway, as much as i might feel retarded for post this later in my life, i'm still gonna go post it anyway...

So, yeah, urm... because recently i was thinking about the likelihood of me working as a full-time artist/sculptor, and i feel like... seriously, even if i might end up as a internationally famous artist with a probability of like 1 in a (1 with many, many zeros...), it's very unlikely that i'll be able to support myself... So i did some planning (in the middle of my assessment, yes...) and i just so happening to see this event that is looking for =, and then the first thing in my mind was the GODDAMN MONEY!!!

So yeah, and i went to apply for it and at first i was like, okay... so i didn't get anything, that means i'm not casted... then later they sent me a confirmation letter 2days before the casting and another one on that day... both which i didn't notice until 1 hour before the thingy starts casting for me...

and for once i dressed-up, prepared everything in less than 20mins... and dammit do i realized that my area, despite being really close to central, sucks at getting taxis... and by the time i got one, my casting started... -0-

and yeah, so i did my eye liner on the cab... and, oh yes! according to the letter i had to print the email that they sent... and i don't have a printer! Genius, isn't it! So i used my EOS 550D and take a snapshot at the email hoping that they'll accept it plus the fact that i'm late...

And after i arrived i took another 10~15mins to find the damn place that was hidden in the corer of the level... and WOW! they still let me do the casting! Yippee! And then, yeah... i just had to do my stuff in front of the judges which i f-ing screwed up...

i hope i'll get to go in as a finalist at least, because if i ended up as a winner, then very likey, i'll have to quit school, but no, okay, i just want to be able to sustain myself if i ever got into sculpture and the materials are freaking expensive okay! Like wood and marble... not cheap sia!

And yeah... a little bit ambiguous, yes? Pray i got in as a a finalist, then i can elaborate more! Hohohohohoho~!

2011-04-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS MONDAY!

So, yup, went out with my sec sch peeps yesterday to celebrate Angeline's birthday, which is today!!! Happy birthday ANGELINE!!!!

And Jessie passed her grade 8 piano exams! YAYYYYYYY~! (LOL) The way she talks about the Snape-teacher is really funny, and i would have panicked as well... and it also proves that nice teachers/lecturers=will not ALWAYS give you good grades

I remember in sec sch she always complained to me about her piano teacher and lessons, etc... etc... Hohoho! Now no more nagging liao! :D

Should go out again soon, when i start working... :D

Actually, truth be told, i was quite inspired by a lot of things these days like DA assessment and what to where for emcee assessment (and then lots of design came into my head but i don't think i actually have time to make it... ) Everything now, is just for the assessment... =_=

and seriously, i'm getting pretty annoyed by emo teen quotes that say things like this:

Sometimes... the people who act the happiest, are the ones who are going through the most. #dailyteen

like, seriously, WTF man... -_- Why would anyone wanna retweet this, you're just reminding yourself about the problem of the day again... If anyone gave you hell that's even 50 levels deep, don't you wanna forget it quickly instead reposting it and spread the pain????

And because we see so many emo msges like this, WE KNOW ALREADY!!!! But they keep posting variations of the same thing! LOL seriously! Maybe they're trying to improve their vocabulary or something... (shrug)

The only reason why i still follow this is because sometimes they do tweet interesting quotes and, i'm done hinting people about my feelings and thoughts through quotes other than the ones that's by famous people... And recounting it, i do think it's pretty dumb ---> Literally. I might as well just say it out if they don't listen, well, it shows what kind of people they are, aren't they?

it's not father's day but...

2011-04-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

Somehow these days i feel super thankful for my dad...

I don't really hang the 'love' word around my dad compared to my mom or sis or even anyone else, and i feel super-guilty when my dad's around while i bear-hug my mom cause i think that maybe he feels like i don't love him or something... (i mean, come on, i'm sure you're a little biased to either of your parents right?)

What i really liked about my dad's that although we're a little slow in understanding, but somehow we can talk about WWII stuff and news... FOR HOURS... which i think it's really cool...

...but i think if i suddenly express my emotions... it's gonna be really weird... so all i can think of was during my wedding, i'm going to add like the no of secs of my age that i'm getting married, yes, that amount of time, more compared to my mom... Heheh...

So, yeah, even though he's payin 1/2 of it but really, thanks Dad! :)

Oh yeah, and also... although we always laugh at how retarded they're, but damn, we have to appreciate how they made cartoon so much more funnier: Coyote, Tom, Daffy duck and many more... Hoho! (yes, cause i'm watching Coyote and Roadrunner now)

... and it always between guys... i guess cause it's easier for the animators to put a female in so that the dumb one will fall into the trap...

Question: Do you be who you are or do you contort to become someone likeable?

2011-03-29T07:28:00.001-07:00

Question: Do you be who you are or do you contort to become someone likeable?

Of course, taken with the fact that if you try to stick a needle up someone's ass, you're being pretty retarded...

(What i'm saying here is that you have to take account of the other party's feelings and thoughts... i'm putting it in a more 'artistic' way)

To me, honestly speaking, i'll NEVER contort myself. It's what people call 'plastic'. Bending is okay: Like speaking American accent for Emcee project/assignment/assessment or being a super-duper nice person on the 1st month of school... But trying to 'buy' your way into being someone's friend is really... ... i don't know: Do you even have self-respect?

And to you if you're reading this: I'm not like angry at you for writing the things on your post... This is just what came through to my mind the instant after i read your post...

and i'm a little confused,... so, you want to be pissed off a not??? 0-o Lol... sounds really strange, i know...

Quote: 'Third, Observe what makes her pissed or happy, what are her likes and dislikes.. If you follow all three steps, then you'll never make your friend pissed at you.'

PS: Why is my brother such a douchbag??? =_= Sigh, every time people just keep giving me the answer: He's just a 10 years old... So you mean 10 years old can throw tantrums however they want???

ばか....大ばかだ...

2011-03-28T06:37:00.000-07:00

I'm such a fool

ばかだ...

That's just the kind of person i am... i'm too gullible and sometimes, i get too sensitive to my surrounding... and whatever people say, i usually don't even take a second to think twice if it's true... i take things literally...

Because i can see you getting hurt, i fear i'm the one who'll hurt you because of my carelessness, so every time when you cuss and swear, i thought i angered you somehow... Sometime, i did think of trying to ask how are you, but if i did do something wrong, wouldn't talking to you just piss you off even more? I will NEVER want to be thinking bad things about you, because at some point i'll think it's totally retarded to do that because even though we only know each other for less than a year, i know you get hurt more than you hurt others although you threaten to, (probably even more because of my paranoia...)

What really touched me the most was that even though i saw you not singing birthday songs that day for me when the class did and even more when you said you hate being forced to do something you don't like (indirectly implying to me that you hate me): the first thing that came to my mind was= So yeah lah, i was right! You do hate me... (even though i didn't ask why, but i thought that'll piss you off if i asked) but you still bless me a birthday wish which i didn't even know until today...

FUCK!!!! YOU EVEN WROTE A 'FRIEND' THERE!!!! WHY THE HELL DID I THOUGHT YOUR BLOG DIDN'T EXIST!!!!! WOULD HAVE SAVED SO MUCH DRAMA RIGHT?????

Sian... i'm an emotional wreck, although my horoscope say i'm the furthest thing from emotions... that just means how much you mean to me, right?

Then again, this situation probably helps me to learn how to grow up a little now, (despite the fact that i WAS trying to stay in Neverland) Genius right? Cause my friend knows i'm turning 18 soon so she create this kind of thing for me for me to grow up... Later Friday come and tell me it's April's FOOL!!!! (Shucks, i think i just reminded all my readers about this upcoming event)

So... PRESENT RECEIVED!!! :DD No, seriously, i mean it... :)

2011-03-08T05:25:00.000-08:00

The world is turning into mayhem... although it's still March... -_-

So... Yup! the 2 weeks tutorials is almost over and once again, i didn't finish all my goddamn assignments! Woohoo! I mean, i did do my work but it always turns out really shitty so it either takes longer/ needs to be redone, or it's half done...

*Latest: and i just discovered another assignment by Mr Chua on Museum Report on PPT! That has been added to my pile of assignments! _l_

Yes... you have no idea how many times i've kicked myself in the ass for not doing any work for the 1st week... -_- (and again for coming here to blog instead of doing work *another kick*)

Well, at least i've the coming Wednesday and Thursday to do my essay, which i haven't even started although i won't be coming on that day...

MY GOD!!!! I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING CRAZY ALREADY!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

the morphing stage...

2011-03-03T01:12:00.000-08:00

it's either a moth or a butterfly...

So, yup. My dad's back for the time being before going to Holland... again... Haha... He bought a iPhone 4 for my mom and said it was her birthday present... LOL... turns out it was an imitation from Shanghai... now she's having problems with the damn phone...

And yay! i got my hard disk! Can cramp all my music, pics and everything else inside now! Save space on desktop= less lagging... :D

and, damn! It's already Friday! Left 1 week to do all the other assignments... and when i think of assignments, i think of the MF-ING photoshop... seriously, montage is the only thing i'm looking forward to... the rest is _l_... (note: Mind you, i only do _l_ when i really hated something)

i can already foresee that my Digital Art is about Fail to Just Pass...

plus, i think everyone in DFA is gonna agree with me that the new attendance marking system is bullcrap! Seriously, ever since the MOE shit is coming to check on the school, WOW! Everyone's attendance is Fail because, suddenly there's a change of lifestyle... Thanks a lot! If they had change it since the beginning of the semester, things wouldn't be as shitty as now...

Worst possible grades for year 1:

Drawing: D
Anatomy: C
History: B --> F***! I wanna kill myself!
2D: D--> F***~~~~~
3D: D---> i'll suicide again in Hell = cannot take sculpture as major... LMAO!!! ---> sarcastic
Digital: E (whatever... -_-)
IIA: B---> T.T

Seriously, people who can do photoshop: YOU ARE TRULY A GENIUS!!! i'm not kidding...

Oh, and if you're wondering why all of the sudden this crazy girl here is studying Japanese like crazy, it's because of this:

General Information

1. In Tokyo Geijutsu Daigaku, the language of instruction is Japanese only; therefore, we require students to attain a working command of the Japanese language.

...which means: you have to take this exam: Nippon Ryugaku Shiken [EJU] (literal translation: Japan exchange student examination)

1) Applicants are required to take examinations in Japanese as a Foreign Language (the whole paper in japanese... ...duh) and Japan and the World (Japanese SS???)

Hohohohohohoho...

Great, just great... i'm actually learning the language from past exam papers... (actually, it's considered as last year's and some 10 years series...) about 2~3 questions a day... in romanji (english alphabets) and kanji, hiragana etc... etc...

and i'll probably be sitting for the papers 1 year after graduation... probably will spent like 1/2 a year in Tokyo before taking the exams... all by myself...

O~ BYE~ MAI~ SEL~~~~~ Don't wanna be O~ BYE~ MAI~ SEL~~~~~
(---Hanhui ver with the face... Hahahahahahahahaha...)

I realized my tongue gets tied up after speaking Japanese in normal Japanese speed after 10 sec... o_O If you get what i mean... Don't you think native speakers talk super fast? I can never understand because of that... 8X

Btw, how's part time job like in Tokyo...? I mean, my Jap's like shit and all, but yeah... i was thinking like working part time in a cake shop... But i have to wear that pink, lolita maid uniform to entice guys to buy cakes... -_- Ewww...

Time to be who i am, not who i ought to be...

气球 a.k.a Balloon

2011-02-24T07:47:00.000-08:00

黑的白的红的黄的
紫的绿的蓝的灰的
你的我的他的她的
大的小的圆的扁的
好的坏的美的丑的
新的旧的各种款式
各种花色任你选择

黑的白的红的黄的
紫的绿的蓝的灰的
你的我的他的她的
大的小的圆的扁的
好的坏的美的丑的
新的旧的各种款式
各种花色任我选择

飞的高高越远越好
剪断了线它就死掉
寿命短短高兴就好
喜欢就好没大不了
越变越小越来越小
快要死掉也很骄傲

你不想说就别再说
我不想听不想再听
就把一切誓言当作
汽球一般随它而去
我不在意不会在意
放它而去随它而去

气球飘进云里
飘进风里结束生命
气球飘进爱里
飘进心里慢慢死去

This damn song's making me super emo... -_- Everyday, i've been coming home, go to youtube and playing this song...

But seriously, her piano's super AWESOME!!! Totally fits the MV's landscape as well... i'm hoping to get the piano version of the song...

and yeah, once again, i got this rush to do some drawings based on the song again... which i'll do... but damn! I thought that once the tutorial week comes tomorrow i can relax a little more... WTF?! i still have lesson on Mon and, ugh! I've to finish all of 2D works by the 2nd Thurs! Plus, i gotta chiong all my assessment ceramics by Mon! T.T My current work looks like shit and i don't wanna get shitty score...(although i think i already have when i was trying to do the presentation board last minute in front of Joey and yes, i got reprimanded... strange how she actually told us to relax... ??? O-o)

Sigh... i don't like this uprising and fluctuating emotions... =_= I get really skittish... i try to carry it out about i don't know why i get reprimanded sometimes... when i look back, i feel like tearing for all that instances which i did not cause i don't wanna be weak in front of people...

Nobody ever asked me what i wanted... Nobody ever asked me how i'm feeling today... I can never crying in front of anyone because no one can react in the right way... I'm still pretending to be that happy and carefree girl that i was in secondary school. Even if i'm not, at least i was burden-less emotionally...

i hate it that i've to pretend in front of someone... it means that i'm, well, still a pretty lonely person inside... Everyday, i pretend to look at my phone constantly like someone needed me... and when i missed someone's message, i feel really bad cause i couldn't something for this person because i'm doing something else...

Why is it that every time i offer to give myself to people, but no one wants to offer their little time to me? It's not like i'm asking for something back like a reward, but i don't want to be a punchbag either.

Yeah, maybe it's like what some people say, i'm a busybody... So should i be heartless? Well, i don't think i can cause i'm not like that originally so... ...

2011-02-21T06:19:00.000-08:00

Seriously. I'm fucking pissed off...

I don't understand why are lecturers telling us to relax when they're the one grading us and apparently will give us marks that will affect us... SERIOUSLY! YOU ARE SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE LESSON EVERYDAY IN THE AFTERNOON.

I'm not pissed off because you give us so much work... Whether it's JC/Ploy... the amount of work will be the same... What i'm pissed off about is that you don't seemed to understand that we're rushing all the work, giving it our best and then seem to tell us that we don't have to, when, if we did relax, you'll give us shitty marks...

So you are pretty much saying that you want us to not care about the work you give us, or the grades are nothing... HELLO?! I'm trying to aim for scholarship to Geidai and you're telling me grades don't matter?

... ...

Seriously, this sem's timetable is fucked up... i rather have a packed day that give us a free day instead of everyday in the m.f-ing afternoon...

3 days after 18...

2011-02-14T07:15:00.001-08:00

Time to update my life...

So, anyway... I'm back to South Park all over again, gotta wait for another 2 more months to watch the new season... :D I wonder what Parker and Stone are gonna do this time! Keke~!

And i got a new fake BlackBerry by LG... Fake because it took me more than 2days to figure out where the hell the sound function is and the pixel-quality is crappy... -_- apparently, the dumb bitch aka my sister persuaded my mom to buy the non-touchscreen instead of the one with it for just an extra $10...

But... this is way better than not able t0 text and call for the next 3 months, right?

And, my sister moved her table out into the living room and the room's way roomier! :D Yay! You know how it feels when the room's super cram and worst, messy... =_= It totally drive me crazy...

So, anyway... i gonna summarize the celebration on Friday: So, yup basically, it begins around after 6pm class, Faric, HanHui and Wilson are like asking everyone to sing a HB song in front of me... which was super paiseh but yeah, i'm pretty touched by it cause the last time i did that was in secondary school.

And seriously, Faric make the most AWESOME cheesecake! >0< (drooling now) but he didn't brought the plates so we had to used Tissue Auntie's tissues and serve everyone...

Oh yeah! and Wilson's lighter candle... =_= LoL! i turned 18 with a lighter! I like that idea though... :)

Then went to Timbre and had dinner! LOL! Hanhui was like 'i hate to eat with you.' But hey, at least we know that when Faric says it's nice, it's definately gonna be nice! And had many, many chat... but it's all (---unable to reveal----)

and, yes... i had alcohol but per sip courtesy of Hanhui and Wilson :) and no, i didn't get drunk... Besides, i can't drink too much because of...

Ah... Yeah... as you can see, the post is kinda rushy cause my instant noodles is waiting for me... so Adios! :D

The song that explains it all...

2011-02-08T06:32:00.000-08:00

真夜中の歌が叫んだ
僕本当は、あの日からずっと・・・

赤く透き通る夕暮れのあと星たちは空に座り、それぞれの音を奏でていた
素直になれと言われなくても涙はもう、僕の思いを連れて
足もとで小さな海になった

空は動かない日が昇り、降りるだけ
地面は動かない君が歩くか、歩かないかだけだ

真夜中の歌が叫んだ僕本当は一人が嫌いだ大嫌いだ
「大切」を知ってしまったあの日からずっと

ああ幸せなんて小さなスプーンですくえるくらいで十分なんだ
分け合える人がいるか、いないかだけだ

強がるたびにひびが入る心はそう
まるでガラス細工が見せるはかない夢

「純粋」をぶつけ合うのが怖いから僕らは皆
すれたフリをして不透明な世界に住みついた

重たい自由を引きずって歩いてた
別れが来るたび空がとおざかって行くように見えた

サヨナラの雨がつぶやいた開いたままの傘があるんだ
ここにあるんだ開いたままの優しさがこの胸にずっと

ああ僕にはまだ諦めていない再会がある約束がある
星くずをベッドにして眠っているあの人に

季節のない街にしゃがみ込む男の子
頭をなでてくれる人がいなかっただけ、それだけなのに・・・

星と見つめあう寒がりな子供たち・・・・

真夜中の歌が叫んだ僕本当は一人が嫌いだ大嫌いだ
一人ぼっちで生きてゆけてしまうなんてこと・・・

ああ、幸せなんて小さなスプーンですくえるくらいで十分なんだ
分け合える人がいるか、いないかだけ

真夜中の歌は叫ぶよ僕本当は、僕本当は・・・さびしかった
太陽の眩しさにかき消されても

さあ、旗を振ろうか肩を組もうかただうたおうかどれでもいいよ
分け合える君がいるか、いないかだけだよ

Translation:
A song cried out at midnight
From that moment forever, I actually...

After the evening became a transparent crimson
The stars sitting in the sky were playing their respective notes
Even if you don't tell me to be honest
Tears ridden with emotion have already formed a small ocean at my feet

The sky doesn't move; the sun merely rises and falls
The ground doesn't move; it's about whether or not you take each step

A song cried out at midnight
I actually didn't like being alone
I hated it, ever since I had to learn what was important to me

Ah, happiness, it's small enough to be scooped up with a spoon
But it's enough, it's just about whether or not there's someone to share it with

The days I pretended to be strong come back to me
It’s like showing my heart in glasswork, a fleeting dream
Throwing purity around is scary
We’ve all pretended we’ve had it at one point in this opaque world we live in

I walked, dragging a heavy freedom along
When the farewell came, it looked like the sky was leaving
The rain of goodbye muttered, and my umbrella was open
And now opened kindness will always be in my chest

I haven’t given up on the hope that we will meet again
I made a promise to the people who sleep with stardust in their beds

A boy whose fated to be in a town without seasons
It was just that he never had anyone to pat his head
That's all it was...

Children stare up at the stars while sitting in the cold

A song cried out at midnight
I actually didn't like being alone
I hated that I had to live on all alone

Ah, happiness, it's small enough to be scooped up with a spoon
But it's enough, it's just about whether or not there's someone to share it with

The song at midnight is a cry
I actually, I actually felt so lonely
Even if I was being melted away by the brightness of the sun

So, shall we wave our flags?
Or rally shoulder-to-shoulder?
Or should we just sing?
It's fine whichever you choose
It's about whether or not you're there to share the experience with

2011-01-26T04:31:00.000-08:00

recently, i was being too focused with my work... the moment i got home yesterday, i collasped on the bed instantaneously... i mean, i slept at almost 3 on Mon, got a full day yesterday... who wouldn't... -_-

(Apparently, the Banana a.k.a my sis, said she yelled, she hugged but i got no reaction... thank God for being so considerate by not having any Christian meeting that day :D He totally understands!)

...but still woke up at around 9 to do my 2D work all the way till, if i remembered correctly, it's was 1pm...

So, somehow... i don't know why it turns out like that, but ever since the Seoul Garden thingy was suggested, so many funny things start happening... like, I start hanging out with Wilson and Hanhui... and apparently, that implied to someone that i hated them... ... and i'm like: What? How come become like that...?

Just in case you don't know: i don't hate you, so why would i even spread something like that? if i didn't like you, i wouldn't even hang out with you in the 1st place... Like i don't like Isa-belle, for example, did i hang out with her? No! And if she asked: Do you hate me? I'll tell her straight in the face: Yes, i don't like your princess-like attitude. Please stay away from me and i'll stay from you. So simple!

If you think that i hated you, lemme tell you something... i thought you hated me first way before that Seoul Garden shit... i thought you needed space... because i'm afraid that you think i'm too kaypoh or/and too clingy... then you also won't be happy, right?! Of course, if you wanna talk about something, i'll definately be there. Walao! If i hated you, i wouldn't go into this state for thinking too much/considerate for you to show my care...

I'm always trying to watch what i say so that i don't hurt you... then now like this... sigh... i don't know why become like that...

2011-01-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

Shucks...

i realized that the older i get, the more pressure and restraint i feel in my life... When i was young, i can just sit in front of the window and admire the night sky without a woe and now i've to make so much dedications to things and satisfy the expectation of more and more people...

Sigh... i don't know why i always give in to people... i hate that i've such a soft heart...

And, dammit, i think i'll have to wait until i either have to move to the new house or have enough money to buy a laptop to play L4D2... Haha... Some ppl asked me to lend them the game... I wanna play!! Because i've run out of things to read or watch... and, THANKS! They say they can't find my video card... so what happened is that i can watch the trailer, with a little lag and missing sound once in a while and there's no text in the menu... and when it tried to load the game... apparently there isn't enough space so i got a blue screen (no, not the BSOD.) saying there's not enough disk space, EVEN AFTER I DELETED MY GRANADO ESPADA that took me a whole day to download...

so, in order that i don't get a BSOD, i'm not playing for now... Sheesh! By then, i think they would have L4D3 or something like that by the time i moved house... =_=

2011-01-17T02:09:00.000-08:00

So, school days are here again! Yup... just complete one of my MANY, MANY assignments... (sigh) Every time when i think of work, i just go... hais... Too adjusted to my slacking life during the holidays, so i've to change that lifestyle again...

Still have no idea what major to choose from... Tsk! It's like choosing an RPG job for your characters, just that you can't just delete your character and make a new one with a new job... :(

and i'm screwed for theory classes... i don't have Microsoft Office anymore so i gotta either use Works or stay back in school or go to school earlier... Boo! So, yeah... if there's any new trials from Microsoft Works, tell me, okay! It'll save me losta time...

also... yup! I'm totally screwed for CNY for trying to take a stand for Jehovah God. Basically, i told my mom that i can't celebrate CNY because it originates with myths and ancestor worship, then she was like: What? No! That's a bad religion! You gotta get outta there as soon as you can... And i was like: Huh? Bad? O_o? It's not like i went into a Satanic cult or something! It's just like how Muslims don't eat pork and some Indians don't eat beef...

Then she was like saying like: Other Christians celebrate too! So, you mean you should do what's popular instead of what's right? You see someone spitting and so it's okay for you to spit too?

Btw, it's not just CNY... It's pretty much every celebratory events in Singapore including Christmas... Except the Memorial (which is kinda like Good Fri, except it's in a more accurate date...)

I don't wanna state the reason(s) here cause i'll end up with an essay of a 1000 words. If you wanna, you can check Wikipedia or the Watchtower website... or you can ask me! Keke! I've learn pretty much from the Bible and i'll be glad to explain to you...

...So, yeah... i'm kinda like thinking: How am i gonna tell my parents without pissing them off too much... and yeah... you can imagine the distant relatives and all... They're definitely siding my parents... So, i'm planning to speak to my grandma... if i can make her understand what i'm doing, then my parents are more likely to hear me out too... But, oh man... she's currently taking care of my aunt who just gave birth to her baby girl, Olivia! :D ---> 5th child, btw...

Oh well... hmmm...

2011-01-09T18:06:00.000-08:00

WELL~! Today's the day! Semester 2!!! Apparently, i've only have one freaking class in the com lab this afternoon till 6pm... =_=...

and! i just found out about this on Student Net...

'New classes will also be added in Term 4 Semester 2, as well as during the vacation period (June/July 2011). Details of these classes will be posted in the STUDENTNET closer to the dates.'

means we might have to choing again in term 4... maybe it will be the same CDE this sem... so... :D at least we can choose again for those that we didn't get to choose!

2011-01-05T21:01:00.000-08:00

Realized i've not been writing anything constructive because there hasn't been anything constructive lately too...

Seriously, i do think that i'm wasting my life by doing 'nothing' at home... =_= but, then again, i think that's what i needed too... after all, i won't get to do this anymore until around May again and it's not like i can get to do spa treatment after that too... (i would be f-ing broke again and i'll need to work again... Phoo-yee~!)

and for the 1st time in my life, i can instantaneously understand Jap without a time lapse while listening to Jap song (乱舞のメロディacutally)... Woo! Well, it's about time! i've studied the language for 6 years... surely i've learn SOMETHING right?! Keke!

If only it was the same for Korean... lol... -_-

Going back to clear locker with unnie tomorrow... Ugh... i feel like, it's really... UGH! Cause i clear it now, the whole pile of trash is going to come back again when school starts.

2011-01-02T23:28:00.001-08:00

Why why why...

asking myself these questions will just kill me in the end... so i should stop asking, because it's annoying... like me! XP

This week's finally the last week of holidays... damn... it's real sad... Class starts at 3pm next week for me... -w- I just feel like fooling/lazing around all day, like cats... Ugh! And these days are really nice to sleep too, but it just makes me feel bad when i just do nothing but sleeping...

and it's really a pity that i didn't went out with Jessie and gals the other day due to motion sickness in the afternoon when the family went out... slept all the way until like 6pm+ when Angeline called like 3 times... -_- and Jamie was really loud! Kekeke! Became fully awake after that...

i've so many things i wanna do in mind but every time my bad habit of thinking too much and over-consideration for people makes me have a lot of regrets in the end... usually i wouldn't give a shit about what other thinks but now... i don't know why i'm like so sensitive about others but i don't like it cause it's somewhat changing me into a pretty scheming person when i wanna run away... Ugh... -_-

As i type more of this i feel even sleepier... Sigh... i shall go sleep then... -_-

2010-12-30T07:15:00.000-08:00

I have to write it out, because if i don't, it will taunt me forever...

a few days ago, i had a strange dream... i dream that i was an adopted magical princess and my current family that is raising me are just trying to get my powers to rule the world, so they engaged me to a guy who i've never met. Apparently, my powers can be passed on by... TL1stkiss... =_=

So, one day i ran away from home, and of course my parents went to pursue me but i went under a disguise and join a rock band and so happens to meet the 'prince' but my parents found me and i'm on the run again...

(some missing parts)

Then met some PETA people who are looking after the stray cats and they said my 'prince' went ???? Then i started jumping from roof to roof around my neighborhood...

(some missing parts)

the 'prince' was, apparently and shockingly, Lee Hongki of F.T Island who was standing on top of a hill...

WTF?????

My dream is so f***ed up... =_= Me? A princess? SHUT. UP! >:o

and why is it Lee Hongki instead of my Seung????? O-o Ewww~! I couldn't went back to sleep after that and i can never watch F.T Island MVs because i'll see him... =_=

Must be because i watched Oh My School and Rapunzel before that... Damn!

Kay... so, i'm listening to シド now anyway... and, GODDAMIT! the portal told me to switch on the pop-up blocker and ends up the pop-up was the registration menu... wasted 2 mins of my life and cost me my Theatre SAS... so ended up taking Basic MC skills (ED) >:( i'll have to sacrifice my Radio Play(ED)... Tsk!

Well, at least i did take a CDE this sem instead of nothing like some of my classmates... Sigh... This sucks like shit!

Went back to school today to pay my school and ends up i don't have to... waste my father's 50 cents cheque and my time because they sent a letter and an sms telling me to pay my goddamn school fees...

WTH?! NAFA sucks like hell! =_= To think that people wanna go there...

Today:

Went Square2 and Far East Plaza with my mom and sis after a long time... and i never knew that the 3rd floor of Sq2 is filled with nothing but Korean stuff like clothes and KIMCHIIIIIII~! but damn! The clothes are super uber expensive, just a shirt is like $49.90! Not cheap, lol... and then went Far East plaza and bought my sis a dress! Like, finally! She's wearing a dress... and if she's not wearing it, i'm gonna... she always have a bunch of nice clothes but she doesn't wear them... =_=

I feel kinda bad cause my mom didn't really buy anything for herself except a shirt or two... that's why people have to be filial, cause i hope i can buy lotsa clothes for my mom too! :D

Yup! Going out with secondary peeps and family again tomorrow... actually, truth be told, i don't really know if i can go meet my peeps tomorrow... i hope i can... :)

2010-12-24T01:23:00.000-08:00

I heard iphone 5 is coming out...? O_o Then again, i might just trade for a htc instead... -_-

Apparently i've been working so hard, i didn't realized it's almost the end of the month! =_= That means the holidays are also coming to an end soon... -^- Anyway, i'm quitting my job soon like 29th or something... sianz... but i kinda feel sorry for Ming Si-manager... it's like she's really upset that she's getting lesser and lesser help from temporary workers/students who are leaving...

Sad... :(

And seriously, GODAMMIT! I can't get to choose my electives AGAIN because all the electives i want all falls on 3pm and it just so happens that everyday at 3pm there's class... FUCK!!! I've to delay my fine art elective AGAIN!!! i'm going to take ceramics no matter what, okay! The others are my 3D SAS and literally everything else that's worth considering has clashed with my timetable...

...SEE! Almost all 3pm!! THE FUCK!!!

seriously... =_= The school's the one who says 'Try not to take your electives, SAS and CDE in your 3rd year...' and they give me this shit! They don't give me what i want, then how to study??? Tsk... You have no idea how many times i've looked at all the other electives and think 'Maybe this one's not bad' before seeing that it clashed with something again!!!

If they tell me one of the class is 2 hours instead of 3, i'll kill someone... esp admin people...

That means i've to cram all my CDE, SAS and last elective next year... -_- Thanks...

Stress... even during holidays... =_=

2010-12-12T01:59:00.000-08:00

Family's back from Genting yesterday! :D Finally, i can annoy my mom and sister again! ><

Stayed over at aunt's place on Thursday and went to see Jessie's performance with Siti, Angeline and Ruimin on Friday!!! Seriously, i've known Jessie for almost 5 years and that was the only time when i think she's actually cool! Maybe that's because she wasn't doing anything funny for like, more than 5 mins... XP Kekeke! The funny thing was that when Angeline was like saying it's really messy, Siti and i were like: Really? O-o I thought it was perfect! LOL! Heheh! Was never involved in classical music that's why... kekeke!

And also, i've also started working since last Thursday... and my feet hurts like hell! T^T Running here and there... tomorrow's gonna be worst cause it's the day where everyone's gonna come and buy their books! :( and seriously, even color pencils also require ordering? Are you f-ing kidding with me??? O_o

Hope i won't have to handle $$$... Tsk... I hate doing work related to $. People get upset easily with issues concerning $, let alone snobbish and arrogant parents... It's not like ACSB is a school filled with academic smart ass like RI, at least they have a reason to because they REALLY are smart, like c'mon, their PSLE lowest intake is not even 200 this year... no difference from Whitley!

and their parents are bloody snobs! I really feel like dissing this kind of people. No difference from being a low-class citizen based on their character. Then again, they don't even deserve to be dissed by me since you can't really teach a snobbish parent to be humble.

Seriously, i'd rather not cause a din, but i just feel like i might lose it if i meet parents like that and give them a piece of my mind. Note to self: Please bring a pillow/marshmallow to vent your anger.

Think of Jesus, Ferlisher... Think of Jesus! He endured a whole lot of shit, including death so...! Fighting!!

Had prata, briyani and CURRY today!!! :D CURRY!!! Man, i still feel like having it again! i don't mind living on indian cuisine for a whole month/year... i don't think i would ever get sick of it...

2010-12-02T22:39:00.000-08:00

Results are out!!

AND GODAMMIT!!! I'M SUPER DUPER HAPPY LAH!!! :D I didn't fail at all!!! I was like super worried for my design process since i didn't prepare for it well and i didn't turn up for one of the major project and Chew graded the 3D studies assessment so i thought i was screwed... But man, i got a f-ing B for it!!! OH DAMN! I'd better work hard for next semester cause i think the lecturers were being lenient here!!

Fufufu!!! Really happy that i didn't fail and i think i did better than expected here! I mean, i didn't take art in upper secondary, so i'm pretty much (still am) at a disadvantage from my classmates that has the foundation...

Plus, everyone's gonna sit in front of their computer on the 28th at 2359: The entire year 1 people are gonna go grab the modules!!! Tsk! I'm super worried that i can't get the modules i want again... like my ceramics and sculpture electives then... -_- I'll be like f-ing pissed again... >:K

Just finished watching 200 pound beauty... i know, many have already watched this like years ago... -_- (I suck at trends okay! Somehow, at that particular point of time, something will go wrong and i'll miss that trend...) I realized this show's like super famous for the 'Ma-ri-a~!' part... Hehe!!! And her extend of surgery is really freaky!

Makes me wonder if most Korean are truly, beautiful (physically) or not... Like, go see the photos of models and stuffs... They almost looked the same... =_= It's like they have this standard or particular model to go with that defines beautiful... Sigh... What's the world coming to...

And seriously, i feel like killing the little asshole now... like WTH is wrong with him?! He has to come check out what i'm doing at a particular interval punctually! Tsk!

Also, i don't think i should watch South Park when he's around... Cartman's a really bad influence to him... (other than the fact that his English might improve... 0_o)

And, yeah... My mom's really pissed because i'm apparently not taking initiative to work... Damn! I'm wondering if the sculpture thingy is still going on or not... it's like only 2 people and the on-site is like coming Mon! No preparation... Nothing! So i'm like... O-o Seriously, i rather go do the bookstore job than this! It's really annoying and confusing... -_-

Gotta go for dinner now... sigh... don't know what to do later... -_- BORED!!!

2010-11-27T09:05:00.000-08:00

And... there goes my parents... T^T...

I still wanna go overseas... gimme suggestions where to go leh! Somewhere where it's cheap but not Malaysia... going there again in Jan for congregational meeting again...

and, yes, apparently i'm back to rock-mood... now it's rock-mood season for me... And therefore, i'm back to UVERworld, SID, C.N. Blue and Maroon 5, etc... etc...

I am in misery~!
and there ain't nobody who can comfort me~!'
Why won't you answer me?
The silence is slowing killing me~!

LOL!!! Kekeke... The part where they play with the knife makes me really tense... it's like you can go 'Ouch!' anytime...

anyway... i've decided... i'm not gonna celebrate birthdays and Christmas... Sounds sad? Wait till you know about it's origins... it'll make you wanna do the same thing as well... (Gen 40:20, Mark 6:21)

anyway, do you know that even the Christ didn't celebrate his own birthday? =_= it's like, what's the point of celebrating a dead person's birthday after he's dead? What's more's that he don't even celebrate so... (So ever dedicated to the preaching work, my Lord... *o*) Go to the memorial lah! I think it's meaningful to commemorate the ransom sacrifice than his birth, seriously speaking... no... i don't think i'm speaking blasphemy here... please go and check your Bible 1st... =_=

And to THAT person... send a mail back to me, kay! :D Seriously, i'm bored out of my f-ing mind because you ain't here anymore... :( and treat me to ICE CREAM!!! :D

Btw, is the guy from T.M. Revolution gay...? o_O No ill intentions here just that he seems so... but, nevertheless... his songs are GREAT!!! :D

Tsk... gaining weight by the day... oh well! Gonna work the gingerbread sculpture (hope so) this Wed!!! :D

2010-11-22T21:29:00.000-08:00

T^T

Everyone's going overseas... T^T i wanna go overseas too... (sob) Tsk... haven't gone out this entire year... :( I WANNA GET OUTTA SINGAPORE!!! -0-

anyway... because i'm so freaking bored, i actually went blog window-shopping... and damn! Aren't they goddamn expensive!!! 0_0 Not a single stuff's around $10... T.T and when i finally wanna do cross- stitch, my mom can't find the needles and yarns... -_- Cursed to be bored to death!!! T^T

i want these hoodies from Cotton On!!! Both types!!! :D

But... buuu~! It's so expensive!!! $30!!! :(

Anyway, gonna work soon... at the same ACS bookshop again... but apparently, Sharon had quit her job... My God... it's a bit paiseh due to some of the stupid things i did at the beginning of this year there... i hope they don't recognize me... T.T Maybe i'll do for a month or so... but i also wanna do the gingerbread house sculpture!!! T.T Hmmm...

Oh! And the bloody North Korean!!! Tsk!!! WTH is wrong with them??? It's like the people there don't even have conscience or something... And they really like to massacre people, especially their South counterparts... Like, come on lah!! Both also Korean what... -_-

Got Christian meeting later... so gonna take shower now... AND IT'S RAINING!!! :D

2010-11-18T05:28:00.000-08:00

Spent my days watching galaxy angels... seriously... it's f-ing boring life... T.T

The only reason i'm still watching this is because of Nomad's laughing... Eh~ hehehehehehehe!

Watch Galaxy Angel I - 06 in Comedy | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

The result's worst than 'flying kimchi'... XD Ehehehehehe!!!!

Anyway, i feel really annoyed about how some ppl would go onto an internet space and SHOUT OUT some really retarded shits... it's like they're almost pretending to be super-uber sensitive... (not that being sensitive is bad...) but they have to go to that (or multiple) space/s to proclaim their 'wisdom' EVERY SINGLE TIME???

and the funny thing is if they even do what they preach... and they had the bloody guts to write it on the public to 'teach' the audience... always lying in self-sympathy, i can't only feel sad for ppl like this, cause they're always in misery and therefore, don't really live their lives to the fullest, which is a really shame, since there's so much life can offer!!! :D

tsk... but then again... WHATEVER!!! Haha!!! :D I feel go after rapping!!! Hehe!!! BACK-ON's raps are good!!!

Gone to practice Hoot again!! :D Hoot ah!!! :D

PS: Then again... come to think of it... having some activities next week is better than nothing!!! :D Feel free to sms me out!!! :D

2010-11-14T06:47:00.000-08:00

めでたし... めでたし... :D

Seriously, how many singers get to have their own Disney character in a MV?! Carrie Underwood did and she's totally lucky!!!

(anyways, gotta change the blogskin cause the pics got problem... possibly got deleted by the host... -_- sigh... )

Got really addicted to all the 'pretty' old songs, especially Maroon5 Makes Me Wonder!!! i've replayed it for like the 20th time after Teenagers and Famous Last Word...

...

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

I've been here before
One day I'll wake up
And it won't hurt anymore
You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The words you say don't have a meaning
Cause

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
And I...and so this is goodbye

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye, yeah [x3]
(Oh no)

Yes! This is currently circulating in my head!!!

and seriously, Taemin's going to reach 180cm... like... wth... LOL! He can laugh in Minho's face after's he's past his height... ... while someone here just wanna grow for another 3cm but can't... T.T

Uuuu~! This Tues's gonna be the opening night for the sculptures!!! Tsk... very worried about it falling apart sometime in the near future... tsk... cause some ppl itchy hand lah! Touch here touch there...

anyway... going out with 언니 tomorrow to buy clothes, although i pretty much got the things to wear for the ceremony!! But it's the holidays and seriously... I. DON'T CARE!!! Kekeke!!! Oh! and i'll be doing the choreography after that evening for fun (Wilson planned so), if i get to finish it, that is...

and this is really funny: http://studentnet.nafa.edu.sg/in_announcement/2010/articles/NOTICE%20ON%20VANDALISM.pdf

Like seriously, it looks like someone's in need of cloth and did this lah!!! So desperate sia!!!ROFL :D This is what assessment probably do to students... LOL!!!

Got a new haircut today!!! :D YAY!!! Courtesy of my mother!!! :D

2010-11-11T07:29:00.001-08:00

YAY!!! Finally!!! End of assessment!!! :D But seriously... i'm not happy, cause i've could have seriously done better but too lazy, too tired and if i did do all my work, i swear i would be bald already... ROFL!!!

Anyway, went for debrief today, and i was like 'OMGosh, i'm so glad i came around like 5 min late or something...' cause there was attendance marking that day and absence= -7 marks!!! Phew!!! seriously, my design process can't get any worst...

and then went home and sian... really bored out of my f-ing mind... so went to watch ArawakaUTB... seriously... SHAFT's work is like the BEST!!!

Really upset now... you might think that i'm really clingy and all that, but the truth's that i'm really worried about you because if i don't ask, you will not say, that's why. But when i ask, i don't understand why you get frustrated... you don't want my care, then i can't do anything cause i'm trying my best to be a friend. You don't like me, then just say it out and i'll leave you alone, athough i think that at your current state now, you should have just say it out and i can share your burden, give you advice or even do something for you if i can do it... You know very clearly you need someone now, so why are you pushing us away?

You just give me a 'roll eyes'... It's not fair for me and it's also not fair for you to not say anything... in the end, it's a lose-lose situation...

I'm not angry... i'm just upset that you are feeling bad and keeping it all to yourself...

2010-11-09T13:24:00.000-08:00

Since it's 1 hour to dawn, i might as well just do this... since i don't think that there's any difference if i had extra sleep for another 10 mins... -_-

anyway... TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF ASSESSMENT!!! YAY!!! But i think after today, i'm going to flop on the bed and sleep till the next day...

Seriously, i'm not happy with my 3D work cause it's really sudden to know that the lecturers are gonna grade the work at 11 instead of 2pm... Tsk!! So, yeah lah! my research and everything half done... i bet my 'eggplant' fell down, then Joey put back up for me again... T^T Joey is always so nice!!! :D but then, i don't think 'always' suffice all that she has done for us lah... very seldom heard her complain about anything... :D

anyway... yeah! There goes my chance to go into the Sculpture major... T.T Can you imagine my 3D studies marks are like, D??? Do you think they will still take you in??? -_- Tsk... damn upset now...

but then again... now that i know there's a chance that the same time will happen again, i'm actually staying up until now... (5:45am) to do most of the work and i actually going to school at around 8 just to do work!!! My!! I feel so hardworking!! (My ass!! Like please! It's last min work!!! -w-)

then while waiting, we actually did work... Unnie went high again... HanHui was doing the RnB Mud-doll song ... heheh!!! but i still missed 'New York'!!! Hehe!!! I think Emma will do it today since assessment is coming to an end!!! ...

Btw, i realized that i kinda like to find trouble for myself... like getting a super detailed pictured for carving in printmaking... or get some really complicated stuff to draw... -_- hais... so my low grades derived from this characteristic of mine....

okay... i buay tahan liao!!! Must go and sleep now!!! :D

2010-11-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

Okay! I've only got today to spend as free time, cause from tomorrow onwards... IT'S GONNA BE HELL!!!

5 more days to assessment... -_- Tsk! Stress... my hair's literally thinning ever since i entered NAFA...

So, yeah! As usual, being a crazy person in class with 언니 again these few days... and the night class students were staring at us like we belong to IMH!!! But... hmmmm, 언니 gets emo often too... so i'm like constantly think how to help her get rid of that by making her laugh more!!! Kekekeke!!!

Recently spending a lot on food as well.. -w- tsk... running out of budget soon... T.T and i get hungry often... in fact, i'm eating cereal in the middle of the night now... -_- and not too long ago after having spaghetti at Pastamania, i went to eat cheesecake... -_-

I may not gain weight... but it certainly burned a huge hole in my wallet... -_- have to buy materials for assessment on Thursday too... T.T broke broke BROKE!!!! and i felt like i haven't had anything spicy today...

OH! Today, while i was eating at Pastamania, i upsized my meal and언니 didn't wanna have meal cause she got dinner at home, therefore, she's not eating... and apparently the pastamania person though we're sharing the upsized plate of Spicy Chicken spaghetti so he gave us 2 plates...

Can you imagine how embarrassing it is when i've to tell the person we don't need it and then comes to see me eating that upsized plate of spaghetti by myself???!!!! -__- Personally, i do think it's kinda amusing and embarrassing at the same time... LOL!!! Yes!!! I became a huge eater!!!

Ugh!!! Can't take this no more!!! Gotta go sleep soon!!! My eyelids are at its limit!!!

2010-10-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

While waiting for Arakawa to load, i shall do this... tired of doing work already... =_=

i'm pretty upset now cause:

1- i need another USB... (particularly for school use)
2- The cable for my phone to computer is officially dead... -_-

and my eyes are pretty much closed to a point that it looks like 2 thin lines... like this ---> -_-zzz

actually... i feel like if i buy another cable now, i won't be using it after 2 months cause i'll probably have to trade my phone in around then... YAY! A new phone!!!

but seriously, there's no time to be rejoicing now cause assessment's around the f-ing corner!!! Cleared my IA and History, so no more Friday class!!! and i can use that day to deal with the assessments for the other modules!!! (and i'll clear SAS tomorrow! Another module down!!! :D)

...F**k! My sister's phone just got a reminder and i jumped! (no, not literally... :P) Not good for the heart! -_-

Haven't really been working out lately since all my energy has been consumed by assessments... but i have been entertaining Banana with kkap SNSD dances... which reminds me: Kwonnie Oppa!!! When're you gonna do the kkap for Hoot?! kekekekeke!!! ^m^

最近,ショックをたくさん受け取った... =_= なぜあたし????

2010-10-23T09:52:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Sentosa 3D project = done!

a.k.a other assignments are coming up during the pre-assessment weeks... 2 weeks left... =_=
but seriously, i think whichever institute i go (ploy, JC) , life's gonna be hell anyway so i might as well just stay in NAFA... since i like art compared to anything else...

but...OMGOSH!!! (looks at assignment list in previous post...) i feel like just 'pssshhh' and collapse on the bed... zzz

anyway... i'm waiting for people to upload the photos on Facebook and tag me for the Sentosa thingy... and at the same time, i'm waiting for my cuts to heal also. It's like i'm getting a cut per day and there's this ugly thing on my leg now... tsk... dunno what to say... Oh! and i also hope my 언니's deep, deep cut can heal soon!!! :) Tsk... i quite worried sia, cause i scared she cut her nerves then may end up like Hagu-chan from Honey and Clover= have to do rehab... Wah! 언니cry until i'm very worried... and i thought she was going crazy cause she also laughing... like =_= 언니... are you okay?

i cannot imagine myself not being able to draw. Sigh... the same goes for talking and dancing... i'll die without it although i bloody hated all the f-ing assignments now cause there's not enough time for me to improve on my ideas...

Mary said i looked a little tanned... YES~! i don't want my skin to be some 'milky colored' shit... i wanna look healthy, not ghostly like some high-pitched 'girly' girls want to be...

Gotta go for some dinner with relatives tomorrow... hais...

This morning, my mother actually said 'Aiyo! My poor child don't have enough sleep... tsk!' then come and give me a hug...

I WAS SHOCKED OUT OF MY MIND! 0_0 Cause usually, she wouldn't say something like that and i was the one doing whiny aegyo and then hugged her... maybe it was too much Korean drama, lol... or she's not feeling well... haha...

あたし<は多分...今の日本語を練習を開始すべきだと思います... 自己紹介で起動するあります...

はい!あたしはフェリシャです!今年は17歳です! 私は現在、シンガポールでの美術学校で修業しています... あたしは多分は9歳の時に日本語にさらされる.そして, 中学一年の時から日本語お勉強しました!

Haha... okay... enough Jap... my eyes are now like @~@... and gotta wake up early to do assignments... Tsk... Nighty!!! ^m^

2010-10-17T04:18:00.000-07:00

Seriously, i dunno what i'm supposed to feel now... cause i'm excited, pissed and frustrated about the sentosa project...

-Excited cause we're finally doing the sculpture!!! YAY!!! I'd like to see the end of the work!

-Pissed because we could have finished our frame earlier!!!! THE FUCK!!! It's like last min the other 5 teams start to chiong their work while those that started earlier get their queue f-ing cut! It's like if it was according to queue, WE WOULD HAVE F-ING FINISHED OUR FRAME!!!

and we don't have enough cans! (especially beer cans--> green and blue) Shit! i'm seriously wondering if we can finish our sculpture in time on Friday...

-Frustrated because after this, these are the homework that i'll be doing:

1-IA journal (1/3 done) : Saturday (yes! Saturday!)
2- IA debate on art work: Saturday
3- Drawing assessment project: Monday
4- Interior drawing on A2: Monday
5- Design process researches +++++++ : Tuesday
6- Incomplete DP assignment from last week: Tuesday
7-Printmaking carving and printing: Tuesday
8-History quiz!!!: Friday
9-Redo the f-ing model for 3D: Next tuesday
10-SAS reports: possibly Next next Monday...
11- Sketchbook with around 70 drawings... : possibly next, next Monday...

I feel like dying after looking at the list... HELLO?! WE'RE NOT HAVING A 1 WEEK BREAK OKAY???? WE'RE DOING WORK FROM 9AM-6PM from Monday to Friday OKAY!!!!

Somehow i can tell that 1/2 the class is going to fail Design Process since we're always having, and i quote, 'not enough researches and thought process'... =_= Next year, you'll probably see me in Year 1 DP class... =_=
언니 and i were being really crazy these days... we would laugh until we become super hyper... and ROFL... and yeah... Hanhui and Wilson will try and make me laugh with things like 'flying kimchi' and 'Hon Kon Inglish' ---> i'm lol-ing while typing these... i laugh until my ab muscle harden! LOL!

So many funny things are happening so shortly in my life! I think i can die from excessive laughter... >_<

2010-10-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

3 days ago:

My God!!! SHINee's Hello MV!!!

1) I WANT THAT THING THAT TAEMIN DESIGN!!! THAT THING!!! (SQUEAL!!!)
2) Minho finally got 2 parts that is not rap... for God's sake! like after 2 years liao, imagine still don't get any singing parts...
3) Although usually i'm quite anxious (worst case: scared) of Key-sshi, but there's this one part where he looked. so. innocent... 0_0

and i guess it's about time i write this here:

if i ever meet SHINee,

1st person that i'll approach: Taemin ---> same age, cute, therefore most approachable... (but he'll probably run away from me like a little animal... ><

2nd person:Onew! ---> he has this innocent gentleness such that he's like a cute animal... =^o^=

3rd person: Minho (i realized he's getting interactive now....) ---> only when he's in good mood... run if you are the same team as him in Dream Team or when he's pissed....

4th person: JongHyun ----> player impression... makes me feel uncomfortable...

5th person: Key---> i don't know why... but i'm actually kinda scared of Key... Somehow, i got a feeling he'll lash at me for accidents because i can be quite slow at times... (but he IS a very gentle from the way he treats Taemin...)

Tsk... looking at my IA work now but also watching Gintama... seriously...drawing or video...drawing or video...

but Gintama is really funny lol...

Today:

School is getting harder to breathe... i'm like in this never-ending cycle of work... yes... you may have finished a work, but that's just 1 module! Then have the next one... then the next one... then the next...

seriously... FUCK SIA!!! what i hate is not the work/theme but the thought of it! IT'S F-ING ANNOYING CAN!!!

...i'm saying this because i just got reminded of a History essay and presentation due on 11 Oct(Mon) @12pm!!! and i haven't even started on the one due tomorrow... although i already have an idea for it...

current assignments:

IA work - tomorrow
History assignment- mon
SAS field trip - mon
3D department-wide presentation- tues
Design process assignment - tues

not to forget there are others like previous term reports and 10-per-week drawings to complete by assessment week!

Life looks like it's gonna suck now... can't wait for November 22 --> Holiday!!! i swear i'll squander and shop and have fun like there's no tomorrow... because i bloody deserved it!

Weeks passed by really quickly these days! :D

언니! Cheer up! Trials and hardship only makes us stronger once we get over it! 파이팅!

Off to workout!!! :D

Yearning for longer holiday...

2010-09-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

Currently, i'm like this:

(i can't sleep...)

眠れないある...
-神楽

LOL! That's what one gets when the standard time for sleeping is more than 1am in the morning... (average)... Sigh... even though it's just after the freaking 2 weeks tutorial break, but, hell! This is freaking nuts!

Back to watching anime again... Honey and Clover for inspiration/ignition for passion and Gintama for the sake of it being funny... ><

and yes! Thank god Erica didn't come today!! Cause i didn't do finish her work... at all!!!! :P and this gotta be the best Tuesday in NAFA so far... HAHA!!! Happy!

plus, the last drawing lesson was really 'wth!': who would ever thought of doing research for drawing class???? 0-0;;; The whole class didn't do it at all!!! 0_0! Then KB was all: 'Nobody did the research at all...?' and then start nagging about senior years and stuffs like that... what's more is that still have to do 10 drawings per week again!! F-! Next year still have this module... Chiam! Die liao! Hopeless... can you imagine KB make us to 10 water colour paintings in the bloody sketchbook...

but... if you ask me: would you rather cram knowledge in JC, study Biotech in RP, or chiong drawings and researches in NAFA... i'd say i'd rather chiong drawings and researches in NAFA... i can't believe myself studying science anymore... and i don't mind lacking sleep for homework like this... just that... i wanna go into second year so i can take my bloody major (gonna take sculpture as major now... so have to do well in 3D studies! :)

Have to meet up again to discuss the design for 3D studies group work! and we're displaying it at Sentosa. Yes! SENTOSA!!! and we'll be doing hands on construction at the assessment period!! Ahhh~! Have a feeling some Kpop group'll be there on the 2 construction weeks!!!! i pray it's SHINee or F.T Island!!! AHHHH~! TAEMIN AND SEUNGHYUN!!!! Then i've to buck up on my Korean to explain the work... lol! (Earth to Ferlisher! Hello???) Then during semestral holiday, you'll see a chao-da(burnt) Ferlisher! :P

Oh! and ARAKAWA UNDER THE BRIDGE*2 is coming out on Oct3, and SHINee's comeback on Music Bank@ Oct 1, then there is also U Kiss comeback on the 14th and then KPOP night on 23th!!! Busy busy October!!!!

Btw... Bingeul Bingeul is stuck in my head... can someone PLEASE turn it down...

(seriously, the computer screen is dying... and so is my eyes from the bright light from the screen)

2010-09-22T10:31:00.000-07:00

Yes... My sis and i are currently learning Korean now... however it seems like i'm the only one who is enthusiastic enough to converse in Korean... and yes, i freaking regretted learning Japanese first because it's messing up my Korean foundation... and for someone like me, who has constant misinterpretation of speech due to inattentive-ness... chiam... Even Koreans themselves can misinterpret lah... =_=

Anyway!!! Wanna wish everyone a belated Happy Chuseok!!! (since it's already 2am) and also:
Key -sshi,생일 축하합니다! Happy 20th(k-age) birthday!!! (although i'm pretty scared of you but, happy birthday anyway :D) He'll be getting his boat next year by the Han River while jogging in the morning! Haha! i think he's looking forward to it... Onew has lotsa $ anyway... :P

...and Term 2 begins!!! F! Choing my drawing on Monday until Tuesday morning at 5am, then when i went to hand it up on Tuesday evening, the KB said can hand up the next day... i'm like: 'WTF? i just choing-ed for nothing till 5?' Surprisingly... i didn't fell asleep in any of the classes, which i thought i would since i only had around 3 hours of sleep, and i've a packed schedule on Tuesday... and of course, i compensate it with long hours of sleep the next day...

and it's now officially a habit for me to be nocturnal... =_= <--- now like that...

Hais... term 2 is offically like... (dead)

and the f**k! My weight is now 50.6kg! Tsk, must have been because i've been eating late at night... like oatmeal and stuffs like that... YES! THE OATMEAL THAT YOU USUALLY EAT IN MORNING!!! and yeah, when i told Deea and guys, they're like: WTH? You're going for diet despite that size? Yes! My target weight is among the 40s... like Taemin, okay! (although he's about 175 and a guy... wtf?! 175 and 40+ kg??? )

http://www.moe.gov.sg/education/programmes/holistic-health-framework/files/weight-height-table-boys.pdf ---> Taemin's severely underweight can... =_= He does look like some starving African kid... (He keeps saying he's hungry also...T.T My poor Taeminnie, are you well fed? Ask Key cook for you, kay!! Don't be eating instant ramyeon all the time, like me... -_- )

http://www.moe.gov.sg/education/programmes/holistic-health-framework/files/weight-height-table-girls.pdf -----> My target is 47kg... :] need to eat more citrus fruits... which i hate... :(

random: when i think of Taemin, i think of Adam Sevani, whom i think of MJ (R.I.P)... and my dream is to dance as good as the Step Up dancers!!! Means i've to learn B-Boy... 0-0

2010-09-16T01:59:00.000-07:00

Fuck! i kinda hate my appearance now...

First: i met 2 different perverts in my current life... One is in school and another was near my fucking house and this asshole apparently became a stalker this afternoon...

Second: i almost got into a scam by a so-called model agency yesterday afternoon. Say what: 'Because you're very pretty and have nice skin...' Like any idiot will also know that a fucking modeling agency do not do newspaper advertisements...

Fuck!!! That's all i wanna say now...

and later i'll go make a f-ing police report and i hope after that i can enjoy the time with my secondary pals on Saturday without worrying about that f-ing bastard!!!

Sometimes i wished that at times like these, i've a boyfriend to rely on... a.k.a now would be my father...

2010-09-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

Must be really stupid to do that...

I skipped class for the first time in my life!!! 0_0!!

Ah! i feel like a bad girl now... now that i actually wanna be like that but it's more of a quest for freedom where i can do whatever the hell i want... --> sound like a spoiled American kid...

(Kids out there! Don't learn from this bad girl here...She has learned her lesson!)

Yup! i skipped Erica's class cause i seriously couldn't finished the work on time... and therefore, i've to ace the research part of the project.

Need to dance... like now...

2010-09-03T06:09:00.000-07:00

My brain currently filled with nothing but EHB, laughing gas, EunHyuk and Kibum... with my Design Process calling to me at the back of my head... (which plan/design i try to finalize by tonight so i can go get the materials and therefore i don't have to stay up late on Monday just to do the project...)

Also, the Replay and Lucifer choreo are literally screaming at me to learn them because i just figured out a new way to learn them... and therefore, i wanna find a dance studio and go get a dance crew but i've to be freaking nuts to do that because the crew will collapse by next year and the $ that goes to the studio will end up being used for materials...

Reminder: Ferlisher! You're not in secondary school anymore! Please focus!!!

Oh my Gad! i can't wait for the semester break to come! Then i can slack like no tomorrow... like after 'O' levels and have fun...

Because i'm super stressed up about the hmwk/projects! It's like every module have a freaking project due in 2~3 weeks! And i've like, what, 5? i cannot believe what is going to happen during assessment period... That's probably the period where a lot of brain cells will be statically charged and the wallet will have super big hole...

Hmwk is not a problem but remembering the dateline is the crappy part! [When new one appears => you forget the old one => end up do last minute work => poor score! => Retake Year 1 module/s => Projects => New Projects (and the cycle repeats itself) ]

(sigh)

off to watch EHB... no wait! i'll go take a shower... =_=

Reminiscing...

2010-08-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

Reminiscing the past now from my previous blog... (i had other before that but...) Realized that i've really change quite a lot from then...(i've probably said this like countless of times...) In primary school, i had to behave because i was elected as a prefect(yes, it was a big deal to me then...) so i'm pretty much a goody 2 shoes and ALWAYS concerned about other ppl's impression of me... but now i seriously couldn't give 2 s**ts about impression and i can express myself more freely now...

oh... and i was SUPER addicted to anime then, in terms of crazy by doing late night shows... now, probably because of the amount of projects i have, i don't do marathons anymore... i'd rather sleep than do late night shows now...

maybe because i've just started school recently, so there isn't much precious memories in tertiary school... but i really missed those days in secondary school where we'll stay in class and rush/copy answers (can't do that anymore in art school) before morning assembly and walk home together... We did silly and funny things... but all of that became memories...

http://dokomademoeternity.blogspot.com/ ----> link to old blog...

and i just realized that, while i'm fooling around during my middle school life, Taemin was dancing his life away... (since primary 3 can?! i was still fooling in the club until 15, and that was like when SHINee first debuted...)

and my birthday is the same as this 'chubby face' here, 11thFeb (no ill intentions here):

The first thing that i did after knowing he has the same birthday as me was going to the mirror and look at my face... lol... >o< (again, no ill intentions here...)

2010-08-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

OMFG~! SHINee is coming to Singapore again... (speechless) AHHHHH~! i wanna see Taeminnie dance and also see Sooyoung unnie!!! But, it clashed with my Saturday meeting and i'll probably have a lot of projects then too... (deep sigh...)

Recently, i'm having this urge to dance... i just cannot sit still, which kind of a bad news for me if i were to reach year 3 or something... Can't live without sleep also... (sigh)

And, once again... i've a long list of things to buy for the projects, what's more is that the DP project wants the installation/sculpture in actual size... my project is like 60cm+? F***... How to go Kpop night like that?

If anyone knows where i can get super gigantic box (just big enough to put a human in), please tell me kay! I need it! Also, Ferlisher, remember to go Spotlight and buy cloth!

2010-08-24T23:11:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to get myself to know more about the K wave... but the crappiest things are the fact that: 1- i almost couldn't understand what they're saying... and 2- i've so many f-ing projects and researches...

and i'm pretty glad that i went to school during my teenage years instead of being an idol. At least i got to enjoy life like a normal student would and get a cert so that even if my contract ended, i still can find a job after that... i can't imagine that i've to settle dance practice, photo shoots, variety shows AND still juggle my school work(also equals to tons of projects and researches)... sigh...

I don't think Taemin gets any sleep at all... T.T... The poor thing...

i just realized i had the ability of sleeping with my eyes open... i'm very sure i'm not just stoning... because when i did that (sleep with eyes open), i actually started dreaming... but it'll mostly occur when i've like less than 6 hours of sleep... so, if you think that i'm actually listening to you because i'm looking at you, i might be sleeping instead...lol...

and... THANK GOD NEXT WEEK THERE'S NO DESIGN PROCESS CLASS!!! (celebrate) Although we'll be compensated on tutorial week... at least i can concentrate on the project due next week instead!!! Plus there is an upcoming history quiz... Tsk... So, yeah! DP class really take off quite a load of work...

And instead of continuing with Genie, i ended up learning Replay... YOU KNOW HOW LONG HAVE I WAITED TO LEARN THIS DANCE???? i almost thought i couldn't find the video...

I OFFICIALLY ALLOCATE WEDNESDAY AS MY DANCE DAY!!! (basically... i'll slack on Wed...) (happy!!!!)

2010-08-20T04:47:00.000-07:00

SERIOUSLY... MINHO MUST NEVER MEET MY DAD (or vice versa)... IT'LL BE VERY SCARY!!!! They'll have soccer marathon the whole night, esp during world cup...

i'm saying this because i just watch Sang Sang Plus... The fact that Minho can play soccer into the dawn is freaking creepy... (and then sleep for 2 days straight) <----It'll be freaky since i'll think 'Ah! He's dead!' in the living room...

and my mom told me: Please don't marry someone like an addict, esp soccer addict... (a.k.a Minho) (grab hair) I'LL BE PRESSURED INTO MARRIAGE!!!!! Chiam...

(the above is just a figment of Ferlisher's super imagination from shock because even though i watched anime till late night, i don't watch it till dawn and sleep for 2 days straight...)

SO... FERLISHER IS GLAD SHE'S JUST A FAN OF TAEMIN!!! (Peace!)
and suddenly, i've the urge to hear from SHINee: 동생 너무 예뻐!(We Play!) LOL!!!!

and recently to my sister: if you think it's really funny, clap your hands! (clap clap!)

Lotsa thanks to Charmaine for the other videos on 2pm(extra) and SHINee... :) Life won't be so boring now...

2010-08-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

...Sigh...

Can't put Korean lyrics in my phone!!! Argh!!! Like trying to learn Korean here but i don't have the freaking time unless i'm on the freaking train/bus... (Tsk!) Therefore, got this urge to get an iPod Touch JUST SO I CAN LEARN THE HANGUL LYRICS FROM SHINEE'S SONGS!!!

I don't understand why i'm always a few years late to enjoy the latest trends/news of stuffs... Like before i studied Japanese, there was J-wave... and then when i studied Jap, the trend go to Korea and it's another few years before i learn to appreciate them... what's more i was slightly into the 'sun-sunbae' generation of SHINee, like Baby V.O.X and Jewelry before i got into SNSD around a year later... i must be semi trend-retarded (STR) or something...

Anyway... at the same time, i'm back to J-rock, thanks to Kuroshitsuji... So the current songs in my head are: Monochrome no Kiss(SID), Shiver(the Gazette), The boy version of Sakura Kiss, Stand By Me(SHINee) and ManManHaNi(U-Kiss) <--- It's really freaking addictive can! [You see now what i mean by STR... They're almost all last year's songs...]

And i really wanna join the k dance battle!!! My bones are literally crying for me to dance!!! and i'm hoping that the dance camp don't end up on Tues, since my whole day is full then... Faric is also interested in the competition, Siti too... Argh! I NEED DANCE NOW!!!!

Anyway, school now have a whole pile of research and projects... (sigh) and i'm currently in year 1... year 3 will be totally deprived of sleep...

...AND NO TIME TO DANCE AT ALL!!! SHIT!!!! $^@$&$&%@%^$$#%@#$^@#...

PS: and this is just what i think lah, but i think Key in the Lucifer MV is kinda scary... 0_0 and standing next to Taemin, they're like angel and devil... :P

Got history class in the morning tomorrow... so going to sleep now...

Stand by me 나를 바라봐줘
아직 사랑을 모르지만

2010-08-10T23:42:00.000-07:00

I'm back to watching anime again! Starting with Bleach... ... and it's still so freaking slow even i didn't watched it for almost 4 months... (sigh)

HiyoriXToshiro combo = greatest entertainment of the day... Mwahahaha~!

'(BaldyX15...) Midget!!!' --> Hiyori

anyway... hais... got a pile of work to do nowadays... so i'm super tired + unenthusiastic to do work... (and i hope the photo i sent yesterday was okay... y'noe... didn't type in the wrong email, can't open the photo, etc... etc...) and i'm like... at least in secondary school you can 'copy and paste' your work for science and maths from textbooks or friends... but now in art school, there's totally NO WAY you can 'copy and paste' your work... and usually, i spend most of the time on the 'doing' part of the project instead of the 'thinking' part... (hais...)

Got addicted to Abracadabra and doing the 1st 2 eights thanks to Key who was doing it during FBG with FT Island... (thanks... =_=) and...

'Juliette (ho!)'

Sick of real yet almost imaginative characters

2010-08-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

i hate it when i'm super emotional... it spoils the fun of the day...

Somehow, all of a sudden, i just feel like i had to erase that thing that is deep in my heart, because i'm thinking about it too much and it's getting into my head yet it'll never noticed and probably wouldn't give 2 shits to how i feel... (after all, 1/2 of the fans probably felt this way)...

So, yeah... i'm breaking out of idolatry... i don't feel rewarded and anything and i'm still living like any other days since he probably wouldn't appear in front of my house at the least... all you get is just obsession and i don't want to live that way...

... although it feels like ripping my heart and there's this crumbling feeling... but i'll get over it, and then i'll forget about it, although it sounds kinda sad... :) (This is probably how Juliet felt when her lover died... shit... Juliette...tsk)

and, like always, UVERworld's songs are there for me, so i'm super cheered up!!!! i'm finally back into Jpop!!! (sigh) and Gee dance will have to wait... :3

愛するもの無くすと　気付いてたとしても
ここに立つことを　僕は望んだだろう

-- オトノハ

and when i listen to Lithium, i feel like Amy was singing all that pain out... shiok sia...

Lithium... in the un-emo way...

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.

Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.

I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.

Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go.

Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall.
Always find my place among the ashes.

I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, ...stay in love with me.
I'm gonna let it go.

Ugh! My little girl sculpture! Gone!!! WTF, i've to do another exact replica and... i don't know how, it was made by coincidence...

2010-08-04T08:54:00.000-07:00

Shit! I'm getting into idolatry...

First was Soshi... now, it maybe SHINee... zzz...

BECAUSE I'M MESMERIZED BY TAEMIN'S SMILE... AIGOO!!! SO CUTE!!!!

And do i have to call Taemin 'oppa' even though we're born in the same year? Tsk... cause i'm not Korean see... so i'm not 18... and if we're the same age... i would have been his 'noona' for being 5 months older...

Why do all these things come to me after i went to school since i was super free before school starts? =_= (sigh)

Anyway... finished with SHINee's Hello Baby... (could have sworn Key was brimming with tears... he's so drama-mama... :P) and i'm really happy that Soshi came out again in Hello Baby... and of course as usual, Yuri is super bad with kids even though she loves them... kekekekeke...

School? As usual, it's freakindrivingmenuts! I have a report, 10 drawings+ 2A2 drawings, 2 research, 2 A3 drawings+5 10X10cm drawings by next week and 1 A3 drawing by this Friday...

(collapse, die-ed)

So, yeah... the 2 days off from school DOESN'T = Free days!!! i'm still pretty much doing a whole lot of work, and i appreciate the E-learning a lot because i don't have to wake myself up to go to some crappy lecture and look at it presentation when i can do that at home...

and i supposed we have 2 major projects per term... OMFG!!!(sob) But at least i don't have to do maths... (happy)

had evaluation for project during 3D class yesterday... it was kinda interesting since it was something like a job interview or public product introductory 0_0... And i'm kinda happy that i can answer most of the question that the lecturer and the student posed because it meant that i'm clear about what i want... :D

2010-07-29T02:52:00.000-07:00

Have been doing intro ppt online for the part 6 hours, cause i get freaking distracted on the internet... kept going to Soshi forum to watch videos...

...and it's freaking due tomorrow!!! Including my journal!

But i've a few more hours to do i guess... :P

Btw, somehow journal reminds me of my sister's homework... cause i thought only primary school kids needs to do journals... apparently, i'm proven wrong here lol...

Tuesday
i was freaking pissed off that day...

because we carried all that freaking materials to school that for the 3pm Design Process class, and ends up requiring less than 85% of the materials... i'm like, i squeezed in with all that materials during the morning rush hours on the freaking train and 'langga' (bang) into the people with 3 bulging bags, and after that... i've to go to meeting in the evening...

Thanks Miss Erica... you're the greatest... -_- ;;;

Oh! and we got an extra week to do the mono prints!!! Once again, gotta spend time thinking about the design although i kinda got an idea of what to do...

And here's (1/2 of) the class photo:

Gotta do that ppt now...

2010-07-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

i'm about to collapse now... unfortunately, i've journal/reflection to complete and come up with designs for 3D and Printmaking classes tomorrow... and it's almost 10:30pm...

but once again, like always, i'm doing this instead...

OMG LAH!!! Have to carry a pile of materials tomorrow for Design process class and carry A3 drawing block and cartridge pad... my hands will be freaking loaded...

so when the hell are we getting the fucking locker?! Sigh... imagine every Tuesday i've to do this... (collapsed on desk...)

Sigh... must be because i ran like hell for class this morning that's why i'm so freaking tired...

Finished learning Gee!!! Finally!!! Now learning Tell Me Your Wish (Genie) and Run Devil Run at the same time... no, i'm not learning Korean anytime soon... my japanese is still not very good, that's why...

2010-07-24T07:47:00.000-07:00

Tuesday

Was almost hit by a car cause i was rushing for class since i was almost late!!! Like wth, imagine news article the next day: Girl dies after second day at school... that's sad sia...

Anyway... barely made it for 3D design class, told we had to do sculpture as project!!! WoW!!! Then went around school for inspiration...

Then, the much 'anticipated' printmaking class! Well, the teacher was actually better than i thought and the class was actually kinda find... (If you wanna know, he's like Mr Ng the DnT teacher, but of course he doesn't hang the 'NS' thing on his lips...)

... and once again... my prints are crap...

and the last class of the day: Design Process class! Yeah, the lecturer's nice but very strict with materials and punctuality... then went to ArtFriend again... =_=

Wed
Went back to school even though it's my 'off day', but i've to get the freaking materials. I had fever and flu that day and apparently Ben was kinda sick as well...

Yesterday:
History lesson was like =-=... seriously... the lecturer was super cautious with us because he don't wanna get complaints... we're like... 'whatever lah, can you start the lesson?' No wonder he gets complains... Studied Egyptian art...

Then went for lunch at pastamania at bugis junction with Jam, Wilson, Faric, Charmaine, Deea and Zul (the OKAY guy) although we were already kinda broke after buying all that materials, but... chatted... and then Wilson said must choose 2 electives this semester cause next semester won't have fine arts elective (heard from lecturer)... so i'm like, 'S**T!!! Really? ' cause i only chose 1 elective... if it's true then i can't freaking graduate man!!!

... Damn that OL lah... He said can take next semester... wtf! Hope what Wilson said was 'X'...

Then went bugis street cause my heels spoilt! Bought a super uncomfortable heels for $10... Walk back to school and visit this gallery in school...

Then went for class again... Nothing much really happens but the Stonehenge was REALLY DONE BY HUMANS!!! NOT ALIENS!!!

Then went OG with Jam, Wilson and met Deea on and off before going to Yoshinoya to eat again... i'm the one doing the eating actually... then went home...

So... YEAH!!! WE'RE WEARING BLUE/BLACK ON MONDAY CAUSE OF MONDAY BLUESSS! FINALLY! A CLASS PHOTO!!!! i seriously thought when i go to school like NAFA people won't be so bonded in terms of class and people will be more interested with their clique like Priya and gang in Sec 2 and won't interact with other people... So... CAN'T WAIT FOR MONDAY!!!!

1st day of school!!!

2010-07-19T06:13:00.000-07:00

like finally!!!

Anyway, i didn't know NAFA sent me my class info to my personal email... so went to school today TOTALLY CLUELESS ON THE CLASS, DAY AND TIME OF MY ELECTIVE...

Until i went to check on my phone and the lecturer show us the name list... (who also happens to be my 'homeroom' teacher and drawing teacher...)

So, after the short briefing with some repeated points frequently, we got the material list... and i think i was too kiasu or something... average amount that most student paid was $100+, mine was close to $200... 0_0... well, at least i don't have to buy that much material next year...

then followed Glenn, Nabila, Fasial and gang for their lunch while i snacked... (actually 5 mins...) before going for SAS lecture and i was LATE for 15 mins!!! It's like marked as absent for going after the grace period lah! (Grace period for 1hr lessons: 5 mins) But the lecturer was marked our attendance manually so...

After SAS, went to eat lunch at the canteen with Jam, and chatted until like almost 3pm for the drawing class... did the line basics with ink and bamboo pen... and 1st few drawings are like crap! Feel like tearing them away... -_-...

Apparently Jam also feel that way lah... cause after that we went to find the nearest ArtFriend store and ended up in Bras Basah (that horrid place...) didn't find the same brand-less sketchbook so went to Bugis Junction and took train home... end of story...

And i wore that terrible white converse shoes again... ended up with busted blisters each on my heels... and when i took a shower, woah! the pain! T.T

Hais... tomorrow is the freaking printmaking elective class at 12pm... a bit nervous of the teacher... but hey! i paid like $4000+ to study NAFA instead of Ploy... so i guess... i just have to bear with it for 1/2 year...

2010-07-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

Every time i watch this video, i'll laugh until stomach pain... (like Yuri... :P)

'Aigoo, my beautiful child...'
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA~!

Sooyoung unnie jjiang!!!! ><

...Ended up mimicking her after watching this...

Anyway... going to school in other 2 more days!!! Woot!
But seriously... i'm still not looking forward to the Printmaking elective... because the teacher remind me of Ms Chin... =_=... crude remarks constantly hang by their lips... and i've almost ZERO knowledge on printmaking other than stencil which is probably what makes it slightly more interesting...

and realized that i'm mixing Cross Disciplinary Electives for Electives... hais... wanna take dance as CDE next semester... problem is i can't choose between Dance Conditioning (in short, non- choreography) and Jazz Dance (Jazz techniques are VERY HARD!!! Just street jazz and it had killed me)...

Orientation...over!!!!

2010-07-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

(Actually wanted to blog about this yesterday but ended up waiting for dinner, ate dinner and then fell asleep straight away...)

Yesterday... instead of calling it an 'orientation', i'd call it a 'briefing session' because there is no games at all! Seriously, i mean, i read some of Jess and Siti's orientation programs and there was like ice breaker or something like that, but there was none of that...

(i think after reading the following, you'll understand why i call it a 'briefing session')

Was slightly late for 'orientation' but luckily there was a next group of people leaving so followed them to campus 3 for talk... and the Theater course senior was trying to entertain us by talking to us in the hall... (Apparently, i was the loudest and most 'enthu' student when he called the Fine Arts Department...). Talk to Nandinni (not sure of spelling... XP) from Arts Management... she was sitting behind me in the hall...

then program begin with talks...

1- The President talk (no, not S.R Nathan, as in 'Principal')
2- The Course and module talk (many people were already dead after this point...)
3- Admin office talk
4- Student care talk
5- Finance office talk
6- Library talk
7- Police talk (as in came down from Marina Bay NPC)

(i think i missed out 1 or 2, but you get the point... ) How the hell can anyone absorb all these in 2 hours??? Seriously?

Then after that joined Glenn, Jam(ila), Fasial and Nabila(h?) for lunch... Talk about where we lived (apparently, all over the place in Singapore...), our age etc...

Then went to visit Campus 1, where the Fine Arts Department is located... went (random) 3 fl, 4 fl, 3fl, wing b, 6fl, library, then lecture room (i think) then another briefing for FA dept... (collapsed...)

Then after the 1/2 hour briefing, went to select electives!!! AND GUESS WHAT! I CAN'T GET THE ELECTIVES I WANT BECAUSE THE CLASS IS FILLED UP!!!! (Thanks to Glenn lah! He took the last spot for Sculpture!) So ended taking 1 elective (Printmaking) this semester and have to take another elective + 2 Cross disciplinary electives next semester!!!! (ARGH!!!)

That means, i can't take Ceramics or Sculpture next semester... (FA senior said everyone next semester have to sit in front of their computers at 9am exactly to 'kop' spot for electives and CDE... ) Plus the module/electives cannot clash with your original timetable!!! (collapsed again)
(in the end i think the choices are still pretty limited...)

(Plus the printmaking teacher is kinda scary... T.T )

Anyway... after the 'orientation', we went home by walking to Dhoby Ghaut MRT via SOTA under the freaking hot sun then exchange number and go home...

Sounds like a pretty boring orientation, but the seniors there are very friendly and nice... so yup! Like that lah! Have to wake up at 7+ am again on Monday to get timetable and get the list of materials...

Printmaking class... (sob...)

2010-07-12T00:34:00.000-07:00

Recently got really sick of watching anime... (i never thought this day will come...) so spent time learning more dance steps from Gee and try to get the dance version of Run Devil Run... (which apparently still haven't release yet...)

...and i eventually ended up watching funny SNSD moments... learn a lot about the members and, therefore, i'm able to distinguish the members better now...

'Sooyoung unnie!!!!!' >< 1st time i can find someone who can do just about as many faces/aegyo as i can...

Ahhh~! i wanna join the flash mob for SNSD leh... :( But so far, i'm still doing Gee... -_-

Still have to learn:

Tell Me Your Wish
Run Devil Run...

and i'm starting school next week... hais... (orientation tomorrow!!!! Yay!!! )

2010-07-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

Finally, i'm finishing up One Piece on Sunday... so in the meantime, i'm watching Cardcaptor Sakura from 5 million years ago... (no lah, just a childhood show then...)

And this week no Naruto Ship... Ugh!!! It's about the freaking Yondaime!!! Like wtf? You tell me next Thurs??? (sigh...)

Yup! Finally, my first day of school is coming!!!! After like 7 months of nothingness... although i'll probably miss my slacking days of doing nothing but going online, but i can't do this forever... so at least i get to do art... and yes... my motivational comic will be Honey and Clover... Orientation in another 5 days!!!!

Oh yeah! I wonder what modules should i choose... (I have electives and inter-electives, that is, cross-discipline electives...)

Electives (within dept of fine arts)
Choose 2

-Sculptor
-Ceramics
-Printmaking (like batik of something)

CDE (other depts)
1st year - D&M Intro to illustration design...
2nd year- Narrative illustration and ???
3rd year- (i was thinking of putting the module here into 2nd year so my 3rd year won't be so busy)

Jeez... wanna sleep now...

2010-07-01T04:43:00.000-07:00

While waiting for Naruto Ship. episode 167 to be uploaded, i'll be doing this instead of watching One Piece... (because i won't stop until the Arc is finished or something...)

but anyway, before i say anything:MR AND MRS NAMIKAZE IS GETTING A DEBUT!!! LIKE WTH! FINALLY!!!!!

So, anyway... these few weeks i've been feeling kinda down/worried about joining fine arts because it may not be ('is not', actually) a rewarding job in the future for an ordinary Jane like me... but after seeing a few landscapes by Joe Francis Downden, i'm actually kinda inspired. i mean, look.at.the.way.he.draws.the.sparkles.on.water, it's insanely realistic... and i may be draw something like that...? That kind of feeling... is probably close to how Siti went to see her UKiss... my hopes are instantaneously rekindled lah...

I feel like packing all my clothes, get a mountain bike, fold-able tent and canvas materials and go to the mountains and start drawing now... (which i am... i'm starting on the basic sketching like the one we did during Sec 1... freaking boring, still probably the same standard as Sec 1...)

Unfortunately... number 1, i'll suffocate upon climbing the mountains since i haven't work out for so long~! and number 2, my skills ain't there yet...

OH MAN!!!! i can't wait for orientation!!!

2010-06-27T01:24:00.000-07:00

The days are as usual... still spending like the whole day watching One Piece (now 300+)

My furry baby, Tony Tony Chopper (worth 50 Beli...T.T):

The neighbors are probably annoyed of my inconsistent loud proclamations of love to my 'baby', but i guess they're watching World Cup anyway, so... Every time i feel like grabbing him and hug him tightly, (but he'll probably run away from me... T.T) therefore...

I WANT A LIFE-SIZE CHOPPY!!! =O=

I think i can finish 459 episodes of One Piece before school starts... (surely... since it took me like around 3 weeks for around 300 episodes. Crazy. I know... )

Oh! And finally!!!!! My Orientation!!!! It's on the 14th next month! Another 17 days...!!! But it's quite early... like 9am... (My opinion of early? 10am...) so i've to wake up like, 7:30 plus...

...OH SHIT! ISN'T IT THE RUSH HOUR? Tsk!

Wondering what kind of orientation will there be for the Fine Arts Department... Ugh, a bit scary and excited at the same time... i got a feeling most of my classmates are older than me by, maybe, quite a lot... plus those who're around my age probably have some foundation in drawing liao...

So i'm kinda like the misfit who doesn't fit into either group... =_=...

Plus, recently, i've been thinking, like... what if, you know... being an artist cannot support my financial situations in the future (since that's highly likely to be so... )... i was thinking i'd open a store and sell pastries and design the store myself... and i can like display my own art pieces instead of having to hand in works to galleries who would take half of the profits usually... (and since i'm like new... amateur... they don't make a name in the fine arts world, like, suddenly... unless you genius lah, then i got nothing to say... -_- ) So, most of my income will come from being a patisserie...

But... it's gonna be tough lah... since life is tough itself... T.T

2010-06-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

It's been exactly 1 week after watching One Piece, and i'm already on to episode 120+...
I'm seriously have too much time on my hands... =_=...

Shit! Just realized that i've to go to school tomorrow to hand in the stupid form... Tsk... Bringing my super strong smelling perfume tomorrow... (maybe i should go and get ammonia or something...)

Anyway, Friday's probably the best time for the bunch of us who when to celebrate Jess's birthday, including me!!! Finally like get to see some classmates who i haven't seen since like last year during the 'O's... And i'm glad that the surprise worked on Jessie!!! HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR PRESENTS, JESSIE!!!

And finally went to learn the dance steps for Gee!!! My sis ,like, freaked out with the 'OMG!' face after seeing the moves... since i've always been doing rough Hip Hop moves instead... LOL... i think i'll freak even more people out since i'm not the 'sweet' type... (plus it makes my hairs stand too...)

Off to continue One Piece!

2010-06-11T19:53:00.000-07:00

It's funny how i have so much time on my hands, but i never came to post frequently compared to people who really didn't have as much time as i do...

Anyway, bought leggings and a Deidara figurine... tsk... suddenly feel so stupid for buying it... Deidara would have been ranked 5~6 for anime figurine... No. 1 would have been, of course, Sasuke-chan or Gaara...

... can't really be bothered anymore, plus my table needs decor anyway... but for 50 bucks is like...

Argh!!! I don't even know why i'm like going to Christian meetings and get myself involved in all that trouble... but i seriously don't mind (since i'm so free and have so much time on my hands...)
Later my bbq meeting with relatives and meeting clash sia... but Wei Choo (my conductor) was actually nice enough to ask a brother for a vehicle to drive me there after meeting... i feel so bad lah... like add more trouble for her or something... (no, don't worry... the congregation's not City Harvest...)

i don't know about other churches/congregation, but i know that the people who went to meetings don't look like they're forced to go there...

~Because we're so afraid of getting hurt, we don't trust anymore...~
Sad, isn't it...

Suddenly remembered how sadistic Maria was... i mean: She drove the guy from the government mad lah! He was like 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm just a stupid, ugly pig!' in front of Rec and Co. for asking them to leave the riverbank for a upcoming development... like that also can...

and these days, while i 'chiong' my One Piece, my father will 'choing' the World Cup...

2010-06-03T05:13:00.000-07:00

Just received ANOTHER letter from NAFA again...

Those of you who went to the path of majority, you probably won't get this letter: Private Education Regulation/Contract...

ARGH!!! BONDED BY ANOTHER FREAKING CONTRACT... told me to check all the study schedule and all that stuff, but i'm like: The enrollment letter haven't even arrived yet, let alone the orientation...

SO HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA CHECK ALL THAT STUFF AND HAND IN TO NAFA BY 21 JUNE? LIKE, WTH? Seriously don't like this admin stuffs...

And Arakawa under the bridge still isn't uploaded yet...

Btw, still wondering if that pervertic asshole's still there or not... Anyone wanna follow me go school then...? T.T

2010-06-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

Slow...
That's the only way to explain how i didn't noticed Al's voice haven't break yet... (He's like 14 in the series, although most guys by then have gone through puberty... like how Lin Yao 'zao xia' in the series...)

i mean, CAN YOU IMAGE ALPHONSE WITH DEEP VOICE... ESPECIALLY IN THE ARMOUR... DON'T YOU THINK IT'S VERY SCARY? =_=

Er... i know i've seen this news like last, last week but...is the Destiny the Kritchapong's Destiny? Don't really know her except that i used to sit at her seat during English class last year and she's 超美人! (very pretty lah...) Pity she died so young... :<

and btw, i don't know why my twitter widget won't work anymore... so... like that loh...

Fall in Love with FMA again...

2010-06-01T22:32:00.000-07:00

and yes... i think i'm going to get a heart attack if i continue to look at Alphonse Elric in the next 5 mins...

CAUSE HE'S SO CUTE!!!! (i wanna hug him like how he hug the kitties... :D)

and Lin Yao's like HOT! (Even though he's like a Homunculus...) Suddenly i feel so glad that i'm Chinese... =_=

Yeah... That's my Lin Yao!!!

and, like always... i've finished like 59 ep of the new FMA series in like 3 days... so i'm like '=' close to going insane...

... but later got Arakawa Under the Bridge! HAHA... can't wait for it too...

2010-05-24T06:39:00.000-07:00

I seriously think the world is coming to an end...

Apparently, people are super negative when they see this, because they want to do so much in their life... but for me, i just want to live simply in a simple world, which is probably unattainable these days... my whole world would have revolve around bike traveling and drawings if it wasn't for terrorists and sudden outbreak of diseases...

I think people have always been meant to do simple jobs like farming and fishing... but look at what people yearn to be doing now: Finance... Why? Because it gives you stable income and life? and apparently, squander on your greed...

i seriously don't mind ending up living in an almost empty rented one-room flat and working part time... Sounds pathetic? Yeah, but aren't you glad you're not living like that? I don't really care anyway...

At least i'm happy...

2010-05-21T07:21:00.000-07:00

OMG!!! Arakawa under the bridge is the MOST EPIC-WINNING show EVER!!!

The following is about a sadistic farmer throwing sadistic comments (via a song) at a character named Sister(who is apparently the father of the church under the bridge... he dress up like the mannequin...)

Hurry and move aside, i'm not your shade
Bow down, you terrible egoist
That habit must be hot, gimme a break, i give up
Know your place, you annoying cross-dressing perverted pedophile
Why don't you understand that you're just wasting your time, oh my.

Your life's a lie. Your life's a lie.
Why won't you understand the way you live is a lie?
Showing off your worthlessness. Showing off your worthlessness.
Showing off your worthlessness. You're such a laughingstock.
No no. That's fine. Don't apologize.
Oh my, oh my... what a boring man...

If you want to walk,... If you want to walk,...
If you want to walk, you'd better stay 1/2 an inch off the floor.
If you were to step on an ant, you're gonna pay

Oh, but isn't it nice. Those terrifies eyes, that sudden sensual chill...
It's just for you...

- Verse of the Sadistic woman, Maria... =_= Sister's such a poor thing...

2010-05-19T03:32:00.000-07:00

I shall motivate myself by watching/reading Honey and Clover before and during my time at NAFA... after all, it's one of the reasons why i appreciated fine arts... (not because of Shinobu, of course, that was like Sec 2...)

... although more than 1/2 of the instances were about romance... the 2x triangles... =_=... (season 2 got 3 triangles...)

(i just realized NAFA don't have architecture... strange... it's pretty much a design course too...)

and we have to go shopping next month!!! i mean, my salary money is literally begging me to use it... plus the hole in my wallet... =_=... it just keeps getting bigger, i don't even need to open the zipper to take the coins now...

and i met a perv yesterday... i went to school to settle the 2nd installment of school fees when i went to the bus stop... AND MET THAT SICK FUCK@!!! That bus stop only have like 3 buses 64, 65 and 139 and i have to wait around 15 mins for 65... then that SICK FUCK@ appear and exposed his xxxxxx in front of me... i was all alone lah... i was like freaking scared outta my freaking mind so running away never really came into my mind in case he tried to grab me...

so i just sat down there and let my hair down while i kept turning my head away from him... HE WAS FORCING ME TO LOOK AT HIS XXXXXX... I WISH I HAD A FUCKING WEAPON TO CASTRATE HIM...

And then when i couldn't felt his presence anymore, just nice 139 came and i quickly board the bus and dropped at YMCA... then went to Dhoby Ghaut Mrt toilet and cry...

after that, i convinced myself that it was just a nightmare... (that's why i pretty calm now writing this... it's like writing how Orochimaru tried to touch me in my previous post...) Geez, if only Sasuke was real, he would have been dead so long ago... and i must say i'm quite lucky i didn't get raped or anything, since he was just a flasher that hanged around me for like 5 mins...

Yeah... what a drama yesterday... actually wanted to go Bugis and buy wallet one... but i was too traumatized to do anything else...

So yeah... i'm okay now... just that i'm feeling pretty bored these days...

2010-05-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

Recently, i found out that iced latte is the best solution to thoroughly wake me up... Cause there was once i went to Cedele and bought and iced latte because the weather was freaking hot and i'm this '=' close to falling asleep... but after drinking it, i'm couldn't go to sleep anymore...

Nobel Prize winner: Ferlisher for finding the solution of drinking iced latte in lectures to prevent sleeping... (as if...)

... but that drink wasn't cheap... it was like $5? $5 to keep your fatigue at bay? i think not... so continue sleeping in your lectures...

anyway... recently kinda feel regret over going to an arts course with probably 'NIL' local teenagers in my major... and i got a feeling that the people in my class are gonna be like Shawn Tan in Music or something...

...plus i'm probably gonna learn figure sketching first before landscape paintings... DAMMIT!!! Figure sketching= 1st year to prepare for Figure drawing in second year, Landscape Paintings= Second Year...

So, i was kinda right when i said that i'm not gonna be touching on nude drawings in first year because i'm underage... i've a naive mind like Sasuke (cute)... (giggles) i wonder what happens when Sasuke sees xxxxx despite having that villainous role now... probably nosebleed and faint... AHHHHH~! SO CUTE!!! plus i think he's 16 this year...

plus i've to get involve in the Singapore Arts Scenes throughout my diploma years... like Singapore Arts Festival, etc...etc... hmmm, but i wonder how...?

Ugh! Need to work tomorrow again!! But, only 3 days left... Waiii~!

2010-05-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

Sian... i think i'll fall sick at the end of my job...

FINALLY!!! Finished the entire 1000-in-1 stacks of flyers! Now i can relax a bit until Wed... T.T Recently my shoulders are super stiff because i kept carrying the heavy flyers... now they're all papers so won't be so heavy...

i freaking hate the job, but i like the people there... Jessie said my (facial) skin color is 2 different colors between now and when i started working... Ha... My sis said i looked like Arabian... =_=...

Recently, i'm starting to get addicted to dance again after i had this special training for Shalene for her audition... and learning the telephone choreo from iDejANCE... IT'S FREAKING CRAZY! REALLY! when they do like 2x time or something... my body can't catch up AT ALL!!!!

So... GIN!!! WHEN YOU COMING BACK FROM L.A.?! I WANNA JOIN YOUR CLASS!!!

Just finished learning the chorus part, btw... and 3 more days till last day of job!!!

2010-05-07T05:10:00.000-07:00

Today's Irene's last day at Regina...Sad...

Irene's probably the only person who's closest to my age and get along very well... then next is Nikki... then maybe Jessie... or Lisa...

1st impressionz on first day of work:

Irene has the 'Jessie' atmosphere around here: shy and quiet... (no longer, sadly...) but she can do impressive things like this:

SHOCKING!!! AND IT'S SUPER CUTE TOO!!! Hand-made one okay! We're always super prepared for the balloon to burst when we hear the rubbing sound while slacking in the pantry...

Hais... another 8 more days to go...

I can't believe Kakashi just died in Naruto Ship... KAKASHI! OF ALL PEOPLE, KAKASHI?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE JUST BECAME PISSED OFF?....

Of course, read the spoiler and the author just prevented himself from being beaten up on the streets...

2010-05-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

I realized that there's quite a few negative posts recently on my blog... so...

i'm kinda glad that i watched Toradora when i feel kinda lonely since everyone is going to school and meeting new study pals while i'm still feeling kinda like, stuck in the past...

... because eventually, everyone will go their own way, like in a crossroad...

so i'm pretty much walking on my own road alone for now, and will probably meet another crossroad soon...

Recently i kinda got my dream of exploring for 2 days in Raffles Place to Tanjong Pagar... spent about a total of 3~4 hours each day walking all over the places... and it was kinda fun? i don't know if 'fun' was the right world, but it was definitely pleasant... i found some nice spots to see the sunset.

And Lisa was totally right about giving flyers before the pedestrians crosses the road: more people will take them because they have nothing to do before the busy road but to read the flyers given to them...

Lisa is totally brilliant...

What's more is that i get to give flyers around Toa Payoh tomorrow!!! i can save on lunch money and location fares for at least 2 days (but i still have to travel to Raffles Place to punch card unfortunately), plus i can spent my breaks at home!!!! -_-~* the greatest comfort of all place...

plus people have been saying that i've become more tanned...

...but i won't become like that someone in 4E1'09 right?Plus, I don't think it's bad to get a little tanned, makes me look healthier... = o=~*

Wish list updated!!! >< Can't wait for my shitty flyer job to end...

2010-04-28T04:49:00.000-07:00

Today's post goes to the kind of people that i met...

Because i'm usually working around office buildings, so i meet a lot of OLs and executives...

but most of the people who took my fliers are either Indonesian PRs, aunties and people who are not OLs and executives...

And i'm always super pissed off at those management people to chase the flier people away etc: in shopping centers and offices buildings... (I'VE SEEN PEOPLE GIVING FLIERS IN BUGIS JUNCTION BEFORE!!! WHAT THE FUCK?! )

And you think you can give fliers anywhere you want?!

Like no way loh... You have to find places where you won't get chase away and go to an area with a lot of people that most likely will take your fliers...

and above all that, you have to stand for at least 3 hours straight with only occasional 1 minute break before going back to giving fliers again... because you don't know if there are people checking on you...

you think all that is easy? i'd like to see you try... there are tons of other reasons but they're very minor so i shall not write out...

Working is ALWAYS tougher than studying... no matter what kind of job you are doing... that's why i rather study again... even if it's A maths and Physics (for me)...

At least, you guys who are studying get to have at least some fun in school right? Like meeting your friends , going to CCA... i don't get any of that... (yes, i work alone from 8am to 7pm, how boring can that be... especially when you're constantly changing venue of work... people you just knew, you've to leave them for another location...) My only fun time at work is playing Pokemon on my phone during lunch and talking to my boss and colleagues after work for at least 2 mins... because they're very nice people... =_<~*

but i still look forward to my pay... $_$...

next time i work temporary, it's not going to be fliers...

2010-04-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!!!! MY OFF DAY TODAY AND TOMORROW!!!!!

i can finally rest after stand for more than 10 hours everyday... *_* but i still pretty tired now...

Because in places like Raffles Place and City Hall, there are a lot of other people there than just flier girls/guys/ah pehs/ aunties, OLs and snobbish executives... also got surveyors and telemarketers etc... etc...

and somehow... (i never knew this before...) but we would smile at each other, as if we're not strangers...

like every morning at Raffles Place, i'll do fliers with the newspaper girl side by side... (Seriously, she don't look like 20 at all! She looked like Sec 2 student... 0_0) and then yesterday... this telemarketer guy came up to me and ask me if i wanna find another job after my flier job...

Yeah... so like that loh...

Ferlisher's Guide to Giving Fliers!

1- Smile sincerely to the people...
2- Ensure that you do not shove the fliers to the person... hand it out gracefully...
3- Look at the person in the eye to indicate that you want them to take the flier (at least 3 secs)
4- Say 'Thank You' audibly to the person who took your flier
5- Continue smiling to the person even if they did not take your flier... ~~so that they'll feel guilty~~
6- Work wonders when you bow 80 degrees...

(don't mind the above... it's just crap...)

AND!!!!

THE 3RD NARUTO SHIP MOVIE IS UPLOADED ONLINE!!! (just finished watching it!)

Kakashi is gay? Then what's with the Icha-Icha novels? 0_o?

2010-04-19T06:14:00.000-07:00

Today's a pretty shitty day... but i'm not feeling down at all...

thanks to my mom this morning who woke me up at 6 plus this morning... i'm feeling super tired... like i can feel the panda eyes on my face...

then i actually have breakfast after so many months! Cause usually i'll wake up at 10am~11am and then have brunch... but it couldn't last me till 2pm which is my lunch break allocated time... i got hungry at around 1pm... so can you imagine tomorrow? 8am to 2pm? chiong-ster sia like that! 6 hours straight...

when i reached the shop... i was greeted with: Why you not wearing skirt? Then i'm like Skirt? White skirt? (i wore short pants, white of course...) then Lisa (one of my colleague) was actually nice enough to tell why cannot wear skirt... because it's too informal, but the thing is, my job is just distribute flyers!

then Zann (boss) came in... and she has the 'Yvonne' atmosphere around here... and i was landed in a pretty deep shit because i didn't catch what the dress code was fully... as seen in previous post... and i heard a part of the conversation : [...but i only have one person, then ask her to leave meh? i ask you lah... T.T]

and i'm so glad i'm not in business courses in ploy... the crowd in Raffles Place was making me so dizzy lah... everywhere is just skyscrapers and people with fake American/English accents...

then i've learn that you don't eat bee hoon for lunch because it's not fulling... (got hungry again at 4 plus) or maybe because i'm standing up all the time so...

In the end everything ended pretty well, except for a bruised feet... hope tomorrow won't be in another deep shit again...

(I'm pretty confused over the instruction about the where to punch card for tomorrow etc.. etc... Tsk... Should have asked for Lisa's number... i still haven't ask what's the assistant branch manager's name and many others other than Lisa and Kinoshita-san...)

2010-04-18T01:11:00.000-07:00

So, yeah~! Tomorrow's the day where everyone has something to do after 6 months of holidays... including me!!! Wah... kinda nervous...

After the walk-in-interview on Friday... the person-in-charge told me a whole bunch of information that i can't catch all of them... like i think i heard meet xxx at Shenton Way Mrt at 9am...

then i was like: Got Shenton Way Mrt meh? Then i go home ask my mom and she's like: Where got Shenton Way Mrt?

So i went to check the location of the workplace and it says: Raffles Place has a underground linkage to xxxx... THANK GOD THERE IS NO SHENTON WAY MRT!!! or i would have screwed up my 1st day of work...

The next thing is that i hope i heard 'meet xxx at Mrt @ 9am' Not 8am or at workplace or waiting for NO ONE AT ALL... and the freaking attire... (i'm still praying for the stupid uniform...) i hope it's the reverse of what the school wants us to do for the uniform then... the shorter, the better... i think...

Shit... i wanna call up the office people one... but i think they said they open at 9am... Argh!!! How... i hope what i've heard is totally correct...

Funny... every time i pick up my handphone, i always cannot understand what the person was saying on the other side of the line... -_- why like that arh?

E-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e
Stop telephonin'
Me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e

Lol... Random~!

2010-04-16T09:13:00.000-07:00

Just recently finish watching the lastest episode of Naruto Ship... the next episode is when Konoha's attacked by Pain and Tsunade get into coma and Danzo take over as acting 6th Hokage... (read up on some spoilers... :P)

i'm still really pissed at Sasuke's naivety, he must lose something then he'll learn to treasure it... -> about Itachi, yes... And to think people praised his intelligence... but nevertheless, HE'S SO CUTE!!! (as in KAWAII...) [i still don't get why people think he's hot/cool... Itachi/Gaara = Hot... Shikamaru= cool...it's so obvious that SASUKE IS CUTE! NOT HOT/COOL! ]

And Naruto can officially join the My-Teacher/Master-is-dead group/club...

Other members:
Shikamaru: Asuma is Dead
Sasuke: (in a way) Itachi is Dead
Hotaru (from Forbidden Jutsu Arc): Utakata (6 tailed) is Dead
Tsunade: Sarutobi (3rd Hokage) is Dead
Kakashi: Minato Namikaze (4 Hokage) is Dead

New Member Naruto: Jiraiya is Dead...

...Lol...
Got a flyer job in front of the store (spa/salon?) for 9 hours! I WAS TRICKED LAH... the ad on the newspaper put it like this [8~10:30 . 11~2:30 . 3:30~7] then i though is choose shift... in the end it's the time that i'll be working ... so i'm working from 8AM TO 7PM... i still don't know if i'm working everyday or not... but i got day off... and i'm only working like hell for a month so i guess no problem bah...

problem is that i've to wear entirely white ... like nurse [no offense to Angeline] firstly: i don't have a lot of white clothes... secondly: i've to wear skirt... like -_-... MY SKIRTS ARE ALL DARK COLOURS! and for white pants [from what i could catch...] something about cannot wear 3/4s...

in short, the store wants me to be a kanban musume (female promoter) by flyers... because it's like Spa and mostly women go there, they want me to look more feminine and 'spa-ish'... -_-... Spa therapists wear white robe uniforms right? OMG! Just give me the uniform to wear lah... if not i've to worry about my closet... but then again if all of a sudden people ask me how the therapy works because i look like a therapist... it's kinda... hmmm... how?

pay = $5/h... around CBD area...
5 x 9 x (>/= 5 days) x 4 = $$$$$
starting on Monday, the day when everyone go to ploy...!!!
It should stock up on my savings... (grin)

so... yeah... it's a pretty good thing lah... considering that i've something to do for 1 month, get extra money and also stock up on my anime for 4 weeks... = 3/4 episodes... kill 3 birds with 1 stone... :P

Japanese post

2010-04-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

最近, あたしはすごいくり抜かれますな。。。仕事はない。。。そしてみんな学校を準備です。。。(うらやましいな... )

アｧｧｧｧｧ~! すごいstress な。。。あたしはあと3月に学校行くよ! T.T。。。でも仕事を探するは厄介よ!

私の頭はあまりに多くの日本語から痛みます。。。やっぱりまだ不習慣ですね...

(revert to english...)
Now i know why Uverworld's blog always have such short post... :P i don't have the software to type Japanese so i cut-and-paste every single alphabet/word from dictionary and Wikipedia...

my brain is dying from boredom... seriously... looking at the computer gives me headaches... -_-...

Something's wrong with my twitter account... i can't post anything...

Anyway, after bible study, went out to buy USB thumb drive that cost me $38... T.T despite my burning savings... hais... but got MY own USB nevertheless... Yay...

Everyone's NAIS BADEH!!

2010-04-12T07:22:00.000-07:00

Catch up a few episodes of Naruto Ship today... morning see Jiraiya die... afternoon see Itachi die...

OMG LAH...!!! 1 day see 2 people die... esp Itachi... So many funny people dying... not nice to watch liao lah... although i think Gaara's coming out soon in the 5 Kage Meeting... (currently at 141... Before the Hachibi (8-tailed) fight...) since he's a Kazekage already... unlike someone who's still a Genin -> Looks at Naruto...

Nais badeh... (Nice body... mimicking from Kemeko)

Even if you've never watch anime in your entire life... you SHOULD watch Kemeko Deluxe! Why? Because i can't stop laughing at Kemeko's accent when she speak English... It gives you the -_- face once in a while...

Suddenly remembered Jessie used to say that in Sec 2... haha... it was like super-random...

Finally when to collect the testimonials and cert last Friday even though my mom told me that the ACS boys when to collect them way earlier than when the school told us... then saw Mr Kong with a new style again this year and my JUNIORS!!! ><

Wah... Hwee Ling, Jolene improve a lot liao loh! Sharper moves and can remember more steps... The most shocking is Zi Ying and Meidian... Wah... they're damn good liao... Unfortunately didn't get to see Shi Hui and Daisy... T.T... Wish them all the best for 'O' levels and Hong Kong trip... ^^... Newcomers need more power and enthusiasm though... but newcomers are like that one...

then heard a very shocking truth from Jamie about KCL... 1 word to describe: EWWW~! There's a reason why i wanna petition him in Sec 3 right? What's more even being with him... He's the fakest person i've known... and what's with the pajamas... =_=... (speechless) i guess... that's just other people...

Then went to movie with Jamie, Angeline, Jess and Desmond (in the end cause Pang Wee pang seh him... :P) then have dinner... then felt super sleepy... actually thought of having something sweet but i guess i'll save that since i'm being super unhealthy by not exercising...

Yeah... when we play beach volleyball in June, everyone will have NAIS BADEH... LOL!

Recently started on my stories again... after like 5~6 years... (that's how weak my resolve is, sadly... ) but no scanner... maybe use my crappy phone camera again? (sigh)

2010-04-08T05:13:00.000-07:00

i think if i apply through agencies, i've to pay them 1/2 of my earnings... like who wants to do that... i might as well look at direct employers... so... yeah...

and i hate this PC that i'm using now... it's freaking annoying when you have deficient DVD player and no anti-virus software and MS office and blah blah blah... (the only thing that i probably find okay with this com is my wallpaper of Shikamaru... [yes... i've changed my DMC Dante wallpaper])

Hmm... maybe i should go and do the flyers job... how much do they pay per hour? $4? maybe $5? or even less? Yeah... you can imagine how paiseh it'll be when you are doing your job when you see your primary/secondary schoolmates... and they remember you too and then they'll be like: Hey! Isn't that Felicia the prefect from KCS or the dramatic dancer from Modern Dance (i hope the school change this freaking impression... IT'S NOT MODERN DANCE!!! IT'S HIP HOP!!!! )

But, seriously... i'd probably feel embarrass for like 30secs and then carry on with my work... i mean, eventually... i chose to do it and it's my job so like, why should i care about what those people who remember me say/do anything? Like... whatever lah... or i don't work in Toa Payoh lorh...

oh... and recently... i went around to find pics and thought i wanna share it here... hehe...

(although i'm pretty much a Shikamaru fan... i'm a chibi Gaara fan too... and i've like a whole file dedicated to Gaara, which way more than any picture files that i've... so lol... )

I've no idea why they made Gaara so pervertic... like... 0_o?

and... after looking at these... i think i like pervertic guys... shit... no... i think it's just Gaara...

Gaara's chibi chronology...
The Naruto crew are so mean to Gaara :( :

Gaara: (broke your favorite CD...)
You: (fuming mad...) Why you little....
Gaara:

(Do you still feel like scolding him? Obviously not... )
You: (sigh) Don't do that again, okay?

Gaara:

On your birthday:

Gaara:今年もよろしくおねがいします...
(Kotoshi mo yoroshiku onegaishimasu...)
[Please look after me this year too...]

Ferlisher: (grab Gaara and hug VERY tightly...) (ギュュュュュュ~!) YESSSSS~!

i wish that was for me... wait! IT IS!!! Ambassador of LOVE!!!

Btw, this is the avatar of the day...

It fits Angeline so well... -_-

2010-04-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

Shit, every time i see Sasuke i feel like whacking the shit outta him and then bring him back to Konoha...

Now i know how Naruto feels... =_=...

Okay... Anyway... Recently sent in resume for work at John Little as morning packer from Thurs~ Mon, 9~11am but they haven't sent me email yet so... i don't think they'll sent me an email...lol... i don't know... i actually put it in a .zip file so i don't know if open will be MS word format a not... (the one i'm using is .wps)... so there's a high chance that they couldn't open and read it instead of not hiring me...

And... recently took out the rest of my comic books that hasn't seen the apartment i've been staying since i've moved from 84B (old house) and it took up about 1 and a 1/2 of my shelves...

and i realized i haven't bought comic books for like 8 months after a few comics in September last year... but i haven't got enough savings... :P

and yes... recently went out to celebrate Angeline's pre-birthday celebration... Siti and i both forgot to bring the cards... (i think i'm going to another one instead...) and Winnie came! Haven't seen her for more than 5 months and still as cheerful as ever... ><

So we gave Angeline 2 surprises... but it seemed to fail anyway... 1st one was at Seoul Garden then the birthday cake... she's like not shocked @ the 1st one and Jessie spoiled the fun when to turn around at the 2nd surprise...

KINDER SURPRISE!!! (random...-_-)

came home with super sore feet from the lousy Rubi heels and my sister literally left me very little dinner to eat... because my mother asked her to... luckily i ate quite a lot in the afternoon... LOL!

So, yeah... going to redo the resume in MS word format later after i finished downloading the trial version... and maybe try to send another one... now my father's the one nagging at me to find a job...

and recently... i'm feeling nausea and and extreme fatigue... must have been not enough sleep...

Banzai to Melon Pao!!!

2010-03-28T20:11:00.000-07:00

i never knew Japanese melon pao is so tasty...!! ><

unfortunately, I've to flatten the melon pao because the ulcers at the edge of my lips will tear open if i open my mouth too big...

i should seriously consider braces... even though i've heard a lot of complains from Angeline and Jess when they wore/wear braces when we were still in school... but, hey! if it means i won't bite myself anymore, why not right?

and... once again... i've to find a job... yes! i want to! but i guess i'm super negative when i look at jobs... recently, i've seen this article at stomp at how ignorant a customer can become and still get away with it...(although the good thing is that many of the stompers dissed the writer instead...) i don't want a bitch or bastard come and ruin my day...

and you must be freaking 18 to tutor... w.t.f...

ARGH!!!

2010-03-20T04:51:00.000-07:00

Have been thinking about what Jamie said when we're at Sentosa:

'...Nude paintings...'
'...Because people expected more from you, so they're 'negative adjective' when you said you are going to do Western Painting...'
'Art [stream] have very limited jobs...'

And i'm beginning to doubt myself again...
i mean, i don't mind if i've the worst art technical skills in class and people begin to shun me for that, but i'm more concerned if my passion for art will last me throughout [most] my life, cause i'm quite a lazy person... like Shikamaru, only he's a genius with IQ 200... -_- i'm obviously not...

And i'm quite shocked with the nude drawing thing... because most of the art pieces that i wanna draw and have in mind are landscapes and people's way of life, not [naked] human portraits... that's for Milo (the sculptor)...

if i ended up not being an/a [landscape] artist, then i'll proceed with teaching kindergarden/primary school kids art... i can't wait to meet kids like Fuuta-chan and Ruka-pyon... (kyaa~!)

or, worst come to worst... JC art teacher... Secondary is like... bleh... i can't imagine teaching incorrigible students who don't do their work... Like Ms Chin for example...

2010-03-19T04:06:00.000-07:00

Lol, came home at around 10:40pm, luckily my mom sleep liao... and she didn't really gave me hell... except when she ask me why i didn't wash the things in the sink when i didn't even step into the kitchen after i brush my teeth in the morning, like how would i know right? lol...

anyway... i think didn't have enough sleep the day before so my mood was like 'yura yura' (swinging)... and everyone was like super excited when we went to Universal Studios for free, but i was feeling kinda sleepy and hungry...

Goddamn it, of all days to rain, it has to rain yesterday... =_= cannot lie down on the sand cause it's wet...
Oh, and Jess said we're on Ch 8 news... lol! However, my mom knew i went to U.S. based on hyper intuition, not the news...

anyway...i'm pausing Naruto Ship. for Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn for the same reason when i was watching Bleach...

...because i'm running out of episodes again... -_-...

Have been watching K.H.Reborn since last week, however, i think i'm going to run out of episodes again... (like around 70 eps left...)

And, my 'allergy' has once again been activated... Basil and Fuuta... (kyaaa~! kawaii~!><)

zzz...